20 Items I Bought on Amazon & Would Buy 100 Times Again
When I say I would buy these 20 items I bought on Amazon 100 times again, I don't mean I would order 100 more of them right now. Even as a hoarder with Amazon Prime shipping, I don't need 101 of any of the products in this list.
Well...maybe the Tirecockz to keep revenge-ready in my glove box, but...other than that just one of everything is just fine.
However, if I lost my one. If it broke or wore out. If I went back to the moment in time when the me who was browsing Amazon first clicked to purchase one of these things, I would 100% buy it again. 100 times again.
In other words, these are 20 items I bought on Amazon that I like a whole lot. Almost as much as I like my mama. And way more than I like my Aunt Jan.
Enjoy my compilation of 20 Amazon buys I would buy 100 times again.
Aquor House Hydrant
Scorching summer day. Lounging on the patio. Gazing at the lawn. What's missing? Hose, hose, hose. And a water outlet pimped out with an Aquor House Hydrant. Because the grass meeting your gaze is brown, and the marigolds are bent over dying.
Aquor's House Hydrant overhauls the water spigot with its flush-mounted outdoor faucet system. The hydrant allows users to instantly plug into - and out of - the faucet with a hose connector attachment, eliminating scraping knuckles and struggling with heavy hoses and worn threads on old brass spigots.
Even better, plugging into the House Hydrant automatically activates your water flow, and unplugging automatically shuts it off.
BOSU Balance Trainer
For me the BOSU isn't just an essential piece of equipment for a complete home gym, it's an essential piece of equipment for a complete life. I bought my BOSU off Amazon in 2014, and I don't think a day has gone by since that I haven't used it...or at least pestered my wife stand on it and go bouncy, bouncy.
An acronym for "Both Sides Up" this inflatable, domed half ball has near limitless versatility in training core strength, cardio, balance, and agility.
Teva Ember Moc Slippers
They're Dad shoes to the max, and they make me look like I have pancaked Sasquatch feet, but I love every thread on top and millimeter of rubber on the bottom of my Teva Ember Mocs. I've had my pair for a little over 2 years now and wear them for everything from running down to the garage to get something out of my car to scrubbing fungus off my balcony to walking 4.5 miles roundtrip to pick up an order of wine my wife says we "have to earn."
Oh Teva. You made the ugliest shoes I'll ever own, but I'll wear my Ember Mocs until I wear them right through.
And then I'll go back to Amazon and buy them again.
Hydro Flask Vacuum Insulated True Pints
Vacuums are pretty cool. They allow us to rid our favorite chairs of cat hair. They allow us to determine the speed of light for use in mathematical equations. And, they allow us to keep our tasty beverages cold - or hot! - for hours. Perhaps as a complement their vacuum insulated beer growlers Hydro Flask created this line of vacuum insulated True Pints.
The 16-ounce glasses primed for backyard BBQs, hot days at the beach, or a night by the fire are Hydro Flask's fusion of the superior insulating performance they established with their water bottles, and the look and feel of a traditional glass pint. True Pint lips are even designed to make it feel like you're drinking from a glass rather than a puffed rail of metal.
And unlike glass pint glasses, True Pints are stackable without risk of sticking or shatter.
The Baby Shusher
I have no babies to my name (that I know of) but I do have a relatively new niece to it, and after a quick Amazon search for "good baby stuff" I bought one of these Baby Shushers for my mother-in-law.
She signed up for babysitting duty 2 whole days a week to reduce some of the childcare costs for my sister-in-law when she went back to work. I told her she was crazy and would regret it after the first week. She told me to shut my piehole.
And then, 3 weeks later, she accused me jinxing her! Of sending bad vibes that gave the baby colic and made her generally fussy. And she was serious! I sent her the Baby Shusher as a counter to the "bad vibes," a peace offering.
The next time I was at her house I saw her show the Baby Shusher to a friend and call it "this wonderful invention the guy my oldest daughter married gave me." It warmed my heart. It was the first time I ever heard her leave out "against my better judgment" after "married."
Monster Vault Under-the-Bed Safe
Why does a monster under the bed have to be scary or out to get you? Why can't it be there to keep you safe. Or, in the case of the Monster Vault, to be a safe? The Monster Vault is a slim under-the-bed safe for storing jewelry, cash, and other valuables, and securing firearms.
The watchful eyes of the Monster Vault front a 3 cubic foot capacity drawer that slides open when unlocked, leaving the rest of the 140-pound safe in place under your bed (or in the trunk of your SUV.) The lock is a digital combination model you can program with a 3- to 8-digit code.
Have you gotten the new iHunch yet? The Backpod is a tool developed in New Zealand (so it's Kiwi green, naturally) to relieve the back and neck pain, headaches, and poor posture that can result from the hours we spend hunching over our phones, tablets, and computer. You could also have a lie-down with the Backpod if you're suffering from health conditions ranging from Tietze's Syndrome to asthma to scoliosis, as the spine-bender is designed to stretch out tight rib joints that can create pain and discomfort in the front of the body.
Position the Backpod under your spine at upper- to mid-back level and assume corpse pose for 5 to 10 minutes. The Backpod begins pulling the "hunch" in your spine back, opening your ribcage, and (re)creating perfect posture with use over time.
Easybreath Full-Face Snorkeling Mask
The Easybreath full-face snorkeling mask is a game changer for all the non-mouth-breathers like myself out there. While the Easybreath carries the same depth restrictions as standard snorkels, it frees up your nasal passageways and unclenches your teeth during use, removing some of the difficulty and nuisance that come with breathing through a tube underwater.
First, there is no tube in the Easybreath snorkeling mask. Instead of biting down on a chunky, intrusive mouthpiece that may or may not be laced with MRSA, snorkelers fit Easybreath's panoramic full-face mask over their heads. This enables flippering fully submerged through water while breathing normally through both nose and mouth. Despite its extensive coverage, the mask retains a 180-degree field of vision.
Also, as of March 2020, the Easybreath can be retrofitted with a Charlotte Valve to hook COVID-19 patients up to a ventilator in emergency situations.
Hands-Free Wearable Mini Fan
I'm in the business of stayin' cool no matter what the temperature is! This wearable mini fan has a headphone-style design, with a rigid, wraparound plastic back that drapes over your neck to create a constant breeze in your hair during runs, walks, and searches for contrived Insta-worthy moments.
You can also use the fan's backing as a stand and prop it up on a flat surface. The 2 fans at the end have 3 speeds, and rotate 360 degrees. They're battery powered, and rechargeable via USB.
Messermeister Pro Touch Serrated Swivel Peeler
That picture is no liar! The Messermeister Pro Touch Serrated Swivel Peeler can indeed peel a tomato. Perfectly, without destroying it, puncturing it, or making it squirt nightshade juice in your eye. It can peel apples, potatoes, carrots, cucumbers, ripe peaches, butternut squash, and ginger root with equal precision and artistry, taking off just the thinnest layer of skin you don't want, while leaving behind all of the glorious flesh that you do.
As someone who's peeled his finger at about a 1:6 ratio of peeling fruits and vegetables, I can also vouch that the Messermeister Pro Touch is sharp, with no signs of dulling. I'm a pretty low-level cook, and I'm not usually stoked when my amateur chef wife assigns me kitchen tasks, but using this peeler isn't just easy and effective, it's also kinda fun. 10/10 would buy again, 100 times, from Amazon.
Tirecockz Prank Tire Valve Stem Caps
Ain't no practical joke more practical than Tirecockz. The ridickulous penis tire valve stem caps will humiliate your friend Cornelius (more than driving a Dodge Neon beater already does) but still protect his valve stems while he's spinning porkswords to get home to figure out how to make you pay for this purple-nozzled yogurt slinger of injustices.
The Magic Weighted Blanket
Calling itself "The blanket that hugs you back," the Magic Weighted Blanket is filled with poly pellets to add a level of pressure when we wrap up in it that our brains often associate with comfort and security. Weighted blankets got their start amongst people with conditions such as sensory integration disorder, Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and Rett Syndrome. But they can be beneficial to a much wider range of people, with some finding the added weight helps them sleep, and others covering up to calm down, relieve anxiety, or meditate.
Magic Weighted Blankets come in sizes ranging from 36" x 48" to 48" x 78" and weights from 6 pounds to 20 pounds.
Stargaze Swinging & Reclining Camp Chair
Lean back, take a sway to and fro', and have a little look at the night sky with NEMO's Stargaze reclining camp chair. A portable seat that swings & leans, leans & swings, the Stargaze looks to help you relax after a hike...or a 6-pack...with a gentle motion and an auto-reclining mechanism.
You can set up the Stargaze chair on any surface, whether rocky, sandy, or uneven, without compromising its talents, and without falling ass over Darth Vader Tea Kettle out of it.
Hopefully peach skin doesn't give you the willies, but even if it does, don't write PeachSkinSheets off just yet. They don't really feel as fuzzy as peach skin, but they do feel more fuzzy than your average sheet. Fuzzy but breathable. Even with a 1,500 thread count, PeachSkinSheets aren't dense and weighty, but the kind of skin caressers I don't mind having caress my skin on a stifling August night when the AC goes out.
PeachSkinSheets are also moisture-wicking. As someone who regularly gets night sweats (thank you, piles of meat!) I'll admit these sheets don't stop or make them less intense. But they do manage not to get as drenched as other sheet sets I've tried, and they dry real fast.
Over-the-Sink Dish Drying Rack
This over-the-sink dish drying rack is a 2-tier space saver with a side of storage and organization. A real multi-tasker that does it all with poise and elegance. Sound like any maternal figure you might know? One who has a special day coming up?
For those who don't need a gift for Mom, but do need a place to put their wet dishes and silverware that doesn't consume half the available kitchen countertop space, the over-the-sink rack is an expandable storage solution that can also set up on the counter or inside the sink for draining and drying dishes. It's made of stainless steel and comes with several detachable baskets and cubbies.
baKblade 2.0 Back Hair Remover & Body Shaver
baKBlade calls its extra-large razor the Big Mouth because its accompanying app is programmed to ridicule your bushy shoulders and thatches of back hair as soon as you let that wiry jungle get out of control.
It's a Big Mouth because its giant razor mouth is going to eat up all your excess and undesirable growth quick, easy, and at your own hand. The DIY back hair remover and body shaver is fitted with extra-wide safety blades (2 in the baKblade 2.0 PLUS, and 3 in the baKblade 2.0 ELITE PLUS) and an 18" long handle to reach and clean up even the East Jesus portions of your sprouted trunk...and lower if you need it to.
Like clippers, baKBlade has designed its back and body groomers for use without shaving cream, and wet or dry, but unlike its electric counterpart, the Big Mouth aims for a completely smooth shave, not just a sandpaper trim.
Kindling Cracker Firewood Splitter
The Kindling Cracker was designed by a teenager in New Zealand looking for a way to make splitting firewood less likely to result in split body parts.
Her method eliminates the biggest offender, the axe, from the equation altogether. The Kindling Cracker design is simple, a cast iron splitting head mounted inside a 12" cast iron frame. To split, place a piece of wood inside the iron safety ring and whack it with a blunt instrument--hammer, mallet, another piece of wood, take your pick. Kindling Crackers weigh 10 pounds and stand 12" tall.
M1A2 Abrams USA RC Airsoft Battle Tank
Radio-controlled tanks that fire actual BBs? Glass sliding doors beware. These RC tanks, which I don't even know how they're allowed really in this day and age but I'm sure glad they are!
The M1A2 Abrams USA RC tank is one of several modeled after some of the most iconic tanks utilized throughout history The listing here shows my 1/24 scale replica of the M1A2 Abrams USA main battle tank. It has been in service since 1980, and saw it's first significant action in the Gulf War.
The replica has a maximum firing range of 9' and a control range of 30'. Battery time is around 20 minutes, and it comes ready to run with a 300-degree rotating turret and 20 degrees of vertical turning angle. The M1A2 has realistic firing sounds and recoil action when cannons fire.
A 1/16 scale upgraded version of the M1 Abrams Tank is also available for $189.99.
Methven Aio Aurajet Shower Head
Methven's Aio shower head uses Aurajet technology to widen your wetness and deepen your experience with your water fixture every time you turn it on. The company says the Aio aims for no less than "maximum body contact and all-over warmth."
Shaped like a halo (so it will cleanse me of my sins along with my sweat and dirt?) the Aio's encircling water holes are positioned such that they spray water in a criss-cross, rather than a straight needle pattern. The design expands the shower head's coverage area without sacrificing spray force.
Tenga Easy Beat Eggs - Men's Portable Pleasure Devices
I'm not the least bit embarrassed to tout my love of beating eggs. I got a carton of Tenga Easy Beat Eggs in my adult Easter basket last year, so I guess I didn't technically buy them on Amazon myself, but...well...not the first round anyway.
If you're wondering the same thing I was when I first saw the Tenga Easy Beat Egg, read on, and I will tell you exactly how the F this F'ing egg is supposed to jack you off.
Hint and welcome news: you do not have to stick it up your butt.
The Easy Beat Egg outer shell snaps off like an Easter egg to reveal, yep, a sweet surprise. Inside is another egg, this one made of a "super-stretchable elastomer" that fits over your favorite one-eyed snake to help your hand get the job done a little more pleasurably. The elastomer houses 2 things: 1) a wee packet of lube; and 2) your choice of a dozen different Tenga textures. With names like Wavy, Clicker, Silky, and Spider. Each textured interior makes for a slightly different single-use chicken-choking experience.