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Bellroy All-Conditions Card Pocket

$79 Bellroy »

Though Bellory calls it an All-Conditions Card Pocket, the "All-Conditions" part indicates this minimalist, water-resistant case is up for carrying any small, condition-sensitive pieces of EDC. Like a Roadie folding knife...

PDW Versa Bear Travel Bottles

B**ch better have my...shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Honey, soy, and sriracha too, if you opt to use the PDW Versa Bear Travel Bottle set for condiments and sauces on a gourmet camping trip, or to stock your AirBnB...

Swoveralls Swovie Shorts

$70.39 Amazon »

As summer approaches, it's time to start thinking about putting away the sweatpants, putting away the overalls, and, awww, putting away the Swoveralls. But cry not, my dudes and ladies, because as the cold weather and...

Lusso Cloud Scenario Comfort Slide

$65 Amazon »

I know what a cloud is, and I think "lusso" means "luxe" or "lavish" in Italian, so if wearing a pair of Lusso Cloud's Scenario Comfort Slide feels like walking on a luxe or lavish cloud, then...well, don't sign me up...

Earwax Cleaner Tool Set

$8.79 Amazon »

Time for some spring cleaning! Dust off the fans. Mop up the snow-mucked floors. Hose down the patio furniture. And dig out all the built-up earwax from your auditory canals. Here's a little Earwax Cleaner Tool Set to...

Vajacial Mask

$49 Amazon »

A Vajacial Mask? What in the Gwyneth goop is that?! No, that was rhetorical, don't explain it to me. The name says it all. And, hey, what's wrong with a lady giving herself a little soothing and hydrating spa treatment...

Nail Grooming Kit

$15.99 Amazon »

I'm not grossed out by this nail grooming kit - this extensive nail grooming kit - per se, but...gah! Did they have to make a photo compilation of all the gross-out things you can do with the different tools in it? Including...

Zellerfeld Custom-Fitted 3D-Printed Shoes

$250 - $350 Zellerfeld »

Get ready to slip your feet into...your feet. Well, almost. Zellerfeld's forthcoming line of footwear will be entirely custom-fitted to the individual feet that walk in them, thanks to 3D printing and foot scanning technology...

VEJA Fitz Roy Technical Hiking Shoe

$245 VEJA »

Dude. You really gotta be an avid hiker to justify spending $245 on a pair of hiking shoes. I mean, VEJA's Fitz Roy Technical Hiking Shoes are nice enough and all, but...what? Basketball? Naw, dude. You don't need to...

Chess Set in a Ring

I lay down my King and resign. Before even beginning a game on Joe Turner's wonderful, but Grandmaster-level, Chess Set in a Ring. Sorry, make that Grandmaster-vision-and-fine-motor-skill-level Chess Set in a Ring. Made...

Odin Wooden Watch

$347 Etsy »

The only Odin I know much about also goes by the name "Mr. Wednesday," and had the honor of being played by Ian McShane...and then the dishonor of being run into the ground by poor writing and producing on American Gods...

Julbo Vermont Classic Mountain Sunglasses

$159.95 - $219.95 Amazon »

Be a retro Vermont mountain dude (or lady)...and up your steampunk cosplay game...with a pair of Julbo Vermont Classic Mountain Sunglasses. With their round lenses and leather side shields, Julbo calls the shades "timeless...

Fleece Bunny Hoodie

$26.99 Amazon »

Now that Valentine's Day is finally over, we can move on to Easter, my favorite holiday of the year. Haha, sike. Easter is dumb too. ... Unless you plan to give me an adults-only Easter basket, in which case, I'll honor...

Overtones Fashion-Forward Hearing Aids

I'm not sure I'd go so far as to call the Overtones hearing aids fashionable, but if you dig the look of earbuds and Bluetooth headsets hangin' from your ears, you might. However, I would definitely call Overtones fashion-forward...

Ballsy B2 Groin & Body Trimmer

$59.99 Amazon »

Who's up for a shave and a soak? And by shave, I mean a round of Ballsy B2 Groin & Body Trimmer on the ol' family jewels. And by soak, a session in the Testicuzzi to treat yo'self after all that hard work grooming delicate...

Autodromo Stringback Driving Gloves

$140 Autodromo »

Splinters! That's the reason behind driving gloves. I mean, that's what I deduce when Autodromo says, "Throughout the 1950s and into the 1960s, racing drivers relied on the stringback driving glove to protect their palms...

OOFOS OOmg Fibre Low Men's Shoe

$149.92 - $165.36 Amazon »

What does your OO face look like? If OOFOS has done right with their OOmg Fibre Low Men's Shoe, it should feature droopy eyes, a slack, happy jaw, and possibly some drool. Like any other pair of OOFOS shoes or sandals...

Matador FlatPak Soap Bar Case

$23.72 Amazon »

If one of the grievances you aired during Festivus last December was slimy soap bars and their bulky plastic travel containers - that invariably let some of the slime slip out into your suitcase or dopp kit - Has Matador...

Smells Like WD-40 Cologne

Ready to get into some more MSCHF? Smells Like WD-40 Cologne comes in hot - but very quiet, nary a squeak to be heard - on the heels of the subversive art collective's Big Fruit Loop. And what is it?...

OtoSet Ear Cleaning System

$1,759 OtoSet »

Ready...OtoSet...Grooooossss! Uh, I mean, Goooo! Clean those ears, little earwax-sucking set of headphones!...

Cousins Explained T-Shirt

$21.37 - $25.65 Etsy »

This Cousins Explained T-Shirt is most illuminating for those of us who have always wondered or struggled to keep track of how our relations are related to us. Although, after reading through the tree of lineage, and...

Oreylo Helix Hook Ear Cuffs

$24.95 - $29.95 Oreylo »

Earrings meet ear cuffs...meet hat pins meet cocktail toothpicks in Oreylo's line of Helix Hook Ear Cuffs. Yes, I know what you're thinking: Dude, that's a good way to puncture some lymph nodes in the name of fashion...

Y-Brush 10-Second Electric Toothbrush

$89.99 - $149.99 Amazon »

Think of the Y-Brush as a Roomba for your teeth. Or just think of it as an electric toothbrush shaped like a mouthguard that brushes all your teeth all by itself. In just 10 seconds. Hands-free. You could pee and brush...

Fidget Zipper Bracelet

$7.50 Etsy »

Zipper-dee-doo-dah your stress, anxiety, and excess energy away with a Fidget Zipper Bracelet. Or 10 of them, since that's how many you'll get in an order from this listing. Just imagine all the OCD-methodical zipping...