Gear

12' Inferno Pumpkin Skeleton with LCD Eyes

$349 Home Depot »

Home Depot is following up the spooky success their 12' Skeleton from last Halloween not only with even more 12' Skeletons for this year, but the all-new 12' Inferno Pumpkin Skeleton with LifeEyes (i.e., LCD eyeballs...

TOYOGE Knuckle Duster

$18.98 Amazon »

Fidget toy meets self defense weapon in the TOYOGE Knuckle Duster. Even when you're wearing it, with its bright white-and-black carbon plastic composition, and funky shape covered in textures and imprinted accents, the...

SPIRITUS Aroma Diffuser & Alarm Clock

Waking up in the morning is hell, and hey, check out the SPIRITUS. An alarm clock that will look like the Devil threw it into your bedroom straight from his bony gates. Oh, and the clock is also an aroma diffuser of essential...

Zootility Super Thin Pocket Knife

$49.94 Amazon »

If you think super thin is super fly, check out Zootility's ST-2, the brand's Super Thin folding pocket knife with a thickness of just 0.125". Oh, and also, keep your opinions to yourself, because I am sick of skinny...

LED Booze Bra

$85 Etsy »

This LED Booze Bra from Liuyan Guo of Night Walker Art has many benefits. First, it will allow you to suck on random boobies without getting slapped and kneed in the groin. Well. Presuming you ask first and have permission...

DeskView Suction Cup Standing Desk

$265 Amazon »

I don't know, DeskView suction cup standing desk. I've had enough bad run-ins with suction cup soap holders and shower caddies to be pretty skeptical of your holding power. That is, your ability to resist crashing down...

LensHD Automatic Glasses Lens Cleaner

$79 - $89 Kickstarter »

Forget the wax on, Grasshopper, the LensHD automatic glasses lens cleaner is all about the wax off. And maybe not so much the wax off as the fingerprints, dust, dirt, oil, and sunscreen and taco sauce smudges off...

Funny Warning Stickers

$13.31 Etsy »

These funny warning stickers from Bumblefack of Etsy shop AvEwerkz are like my favorite bumper sticker, "WARNING: This Vehicle Makes Frequent Stops at Your Mom's House," but for an industrial workplace setting, or your...

myCobot 6-Axis Collaborative Robot

Elephant Robotics declares its myCobot "the world's smallest and lightest six-axis collaborative robot," and it kind of makes me wonder: 1) how'd they do that?!; and 2) how many small, light 6-axis collaborative robots...

Giant Wood S'mores Station

$165 Etsy »

You want s'more s'mores? OK, dude, here's the fixin's for about five hundred of the graham sandwiched chocolatey-marshmallow campfire treats, courtesy of Reclaim and Refurbish's giant wood s'mores station...

The Buttress Pillow Mini Butt Keychain

$9.90 Amazon »

Wait, I thought the trend was for butts to get bigger, not smaller, but here The Buttress Pillow goes shrinking their pinchable, squeezable ass down into the Mini Butt Keychain. Maybe it's a fair trade-off though: less...

TILI Minimalist Fixed-Blade Pocket Knife

$72 - $138 Kickstarter »

TILI. Rhymes with "lily." But this fixed-blade pocket knife ain't no pretty, sweet-smelling flower. Well I mean, it is kind of pretty, and while I doubt the blade has any sort of floral aromas to it, if you like the scent...

Igloo VW Bus Cooler

$64.99 Amazon »

Strangely, Igloo's VW Bus Cooler - a limited edition of their Playmate lunchbox-style coolers - is not the first VW Bus cooler to be released, and not even the first VW Bus cooler I've written about. Just last year we...

Oura Ring Personal Health Tracker

$299 Oura Ring »

What's your Oura? Welp, according to the personal health tracker Oura Ring, it's tired, inactive, and slow to recover. Oh boy, another gadget to tell you you're doing life all wrong!...

Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine Pet Carrier

$59.99 Amazon »

Grab a Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine Pet Carrier and load up the Scooby Snacks along with your dog or cat (or other furry or slithery friend) when it's time to solve the mystery of how to transport the little precious to...

The Cob Quicky

The Cob Quicky lends a hand in buttering your corn on the cob, getting the job done mess-free and in record time. It's a hand for a job. A Hand. Job...

Thor's Hammer Water Bottle

$24.79 Amazon »

Thor's Hammer becomes TH2O's Hammer in this Thor's Hammer Water Bottle. Marvel fans, superhero fans, Norse mythology fans, Ragnorak on Netflix fans - prepare to get hammered. And by hammered, I mean hydrated...

DropTop Plug & Play Wall-Mounted Workstation

$558 - $1,700 Pith & Stem »

DropTop is a pretty clever plug & play wall-mounted workstation that folds down to reveal a strong and roomy hardwood ply desktop, and your choice of 1 or 2 built-in monitors, or the cutouts to install your own. But its...

Lefree Digital Money-Counting Swear Jar

Sold Out Amazon »

Now here's a new twist to the swear jar - a digital money-counting piggy bank that will let you know exactly how much all the sh*ts and f*cks you've given have cost you. Sounds like the perfect gift for teens - or gift...

Miller Lite x New Balance Shoezie Beer Koozie

FREE Miller Lite »

The Miller Lite x New Balance Shoezie is a collaboration for the ages. Namely, the ages of dads. Forties. Fifties. Sixties. Maybe seventies if he's a spry one still sportin' New Balance 624 sneaks and crackin' a Dad joke...

Pocket Piano - Modular, Magnetic Portable Piano

$1,032 - $1,215 Pocket Piano »

The Pocket Piano isn't quite pocket-sized, but this modular, snap-together magnetic piano is definitely portable enough to take and set up anywhere you want to play a 7-octave, 2-pedaled professional piano. Your mama's...

Snactiv Multi-Tasking Snacking Chopsticks

$13 - $22 Snactiv »

Nobody describes a pair of multi-tasking snacking chopsticks better than Snactiv themselves: "A completely unnecessary but very cool snacking tool." And it doesn't stop there. Snactiv continues, in words after my very...

ZMKC Nintendo Game Boy Keycap

$35 Drop »

Cap off your work day - or your gaming night - with a fly Nintendo Game Boy Keycap from ZMKC. These miniature versions of the console miniatures turn the handheld into a fingerheld, but still manage to include the distinguished...

Steampunk Brass & Copper Lighter

$159 Etsy »

This brass & copper lighter will bring some steampunk flair to any smoker's, incense burner's, or candle enthusiast's desktop. And if you're not into steampunk, no problem. The Doktor Bertram Blenkinsopp attributes of...