Gear

Freewrite Traveler Ghost Transparent Digital Typewriter

$599 Freewrite »

Freewrite calls their special edition Traveler Ghost a "portable drafting device," but I think "typewriter" is a better word, because it's simpler, and doesn't detract from the real star of this clickety-click show: a...

Opal Tadpole Teenie-Tiny Latptop Camera

$175 Opal »

Opal says their new Tadpole is "the smallest webcam ever built." ... But it's only for your laptop. ... Which likely already came with a webcam. ... One already built into it that you don't have to carry around separately...

Freshly Baked Muscular Bear Bread

$29.99 Etsy »

I don't know which sounds worse: eating a bear; or eating a bear that's so jacked with muscles its flesh cooks all tough and rubbery. What's that? Try it raw? ... Uh, no. Cat sushi, maybe, but I draw the line at bear...

FUNBRO Miniature Pocket Knife

$9.99 Amazon »

With its wee 1.63" length and mighty mite cutting capabilities, this miniature pocket knife looks fun, dude. So why the H-E-Double-Tanto-Blade is it called FUNBRO? Absolute hogwash. It should be the FUNDUDE Miniature...

Amazon Jungle Survivor Break-Down Spear

$58.99 Amazon »

Wondering what to pack for your upcoming trip to the Amazon jungle? You're in luck, because the Dude has your answers: those underwear you can wash in a sink (or river); bug spray; and an Amazon Jungle Survivor Break-Down...

9-Foot Alien Abduction Inflatable

Sold Out Amazon »

Bad news: the 9-Foot Alien Abduction Inflatable does not include the pictured inflatable cow getting beamed up into the UFO for its inevitable anal probe. Good news: you can get an inflatable cow that will fit inside...

Skull Candle Holder with Bleeding Brain Candle

$29.95 - $37.95 Amazon »

Bleeding candles are nothing new...huh. What a weird truth. I can think of at least 2 types of bleeding candle I have already shown you - The Melting Hand Bloody Candle and Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle...

Ringo Water Bottle with Phone Holder

$69.99 Ringo »

Ringo Water Bottles and their attached MagSafe phone holders are snazzy and all, but how many times do you really need an impromptu mount that doesn't involve a willing partner?...

LED Dog Projector for Dog Collars

$9.99 Amazon »

This LED projector attaches to dog collars to project...dogs...on the ground in front of your...dog. But, but...why? Because dogs appreciate other dogs lighting their way in the dark? Because dogs are pack animals and...

Dihydrogen Monoxide Warning Sticker

$9.99 - $11.49 Amazon »

The Dihydrogen Monoxide Warning Sticker is a must-have precaution for anyone with a swimming pool, a showerhead, or a Darth Vader Tea Kettle. Better safe than sued, right?...

NEBO Glow Tumbler Holder

$29.32 Amazon »

The NEBO Glow Tumbler Holder is here to help you get a grip (on your beer) and show you the way (to the best spot in the woods to pee it all out.) The tumbler accessory fits a range of 30-ounce insulated mugs, adding...

Keybrid Key & Keyring in One

$11.25 - $15 Etsy »

The Keybrid is an award-winning nod to organization, minimalism, dang cool design, and people who find themselves fumbling through a keychain the size of a jailer's every time they want to unlock their front door. Scott...

Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle

Sold Out Amazon »

Is there some sort of metaphor to be drawn from the Skeleton in a Skull Bathtub Candle? Take a dip in your own mind? Relax with your thoughts? Wade through your memories...and maybe figure out how you died and got cursed...

Funny Car & Truck Unused Buttons Stickers

$7.99 Amazon »

Whenever another driver commits an egregious act on the road that almost kills me, or just really pisses me off, I always envision having a button on my car that shoots darts out from the undercarriage. Darts, of course...

EZ-Nabber Cat Catcher

Me and the EZ-Nabber Cat Catcher have one thing to say to my cat, Zanzibar: yes, my feline friend, naughty kitties who leap at their owners in the midst of pouring a bottle of red wine, knock over all the filled glasses...

Handmade Dragon Scale Tankard

$37.95 Etsy »

This tankard is fire! And kiln-fired! And possibly fire-breathing, if those dragon scales encircling it are any indication. Rowdy Dragon Studio brings Handmade Dragon Scale Tankards from the potter's wheel to your firm...

Mug Chomp Self-Adjusting Coaster

$1.80 Cults 3D »

Talk about a killer coaster. Krakdrag developed the most excellent Mug Chomp Self-Adjusting Coaster in the likeness of the Super Mario Bros. Chain Chomp. But rather than doing evil things, such as making you small or...

BetaLock Locking Carabiner

$30 Matador »

If you carabiner 'bout your stuff, you BetaLock it up. The BetaLock is a locking carabiner that combines two valued members of your EDC and travel kits into one. Made by Matador, a company that recently won my heart with...

Spider Web Light Up Doormat

$33 - $59 Pottery Barn »

I'll welcome only those with webbed feet into my home this Halloween. Feet, that is, that have been wiped clean on my Spider Web Light Up Doormat...

AirFly Wireless Transmitters with Audio Sharing

$79.95 - $108.58 Amazon »

The AirFly series of wireless transmitters from Twelve South converts any type of audio jack into a Bluetooth connection point for AirPods, noise cancelling headphones, or other wireless listening devices. AirFly Duo...

Tekto A5 Spry Automatic Knife

$249.99 Tekto »

Tekto's new A5 Spry shows its spryness in more ways than just the lickety split deployment of its automatic blade. The knife also comes in your choice of Dagger, Drop Point, or Tanto styles, all made with S35VN steel...

gammaCore Sapphire Non-Invasive Headache Relief Device

Headaches are often the result of one of two things: 1) that vampire girl Dakota Fanning played in Twilight looking at you and hissing, "Pain!"; or 2) the vagus nerve, the longest cranial nerve in your body, sending pain...

12' Haunted Living Lighted Animatronic Mummy

$348 Lowes »

Lowe's couldn't let Home Depot keep having all the Halloween fun - and revenue. So this year the home improvement retailer is offering a 12' Haunted Living Lighted Animatronic Mummy to rival their rival's 12' Skeleton...

Dog Car Seat Hammock with Zipline

$59.99 Amazon »

Whoa, Pet Adventure, this is quite the canine contraption. I've seen protective dog car seat covers before, and I've seen dog car seat hammocks before. I've even seen backseat dog ziplines before. But this. This incorporates...