Fitness

Jumbo Digital Wall Clock

$429 Amazon »

Bring the basketball court or boxing ring to your home...without actually installing a basketball court or boxing ring in your home with this jumbo digital wall clock. This thing, like another word with almost the exact...

Thumb Saver Trigger Point Massage Tool

$6.99 - $7.99 Amazon »

Uuuhhh, now where does that plastic thumb go again? Up my a...bductors? OK, I'm down, Thumb Saver trigger point massage tool. I've always had tight hips. Actually, could you go in a little? Just more towards that center...

Wrist Buddy Yoga Blocks

$41.70 - $44.81 Amazon »

There's always room for improvement in yoga, and apparently there is also always room for improvement in yoga gear. These Wrist Buddy Yoga Blocks described themselves as "the ultimate ergonomic upgrade for maximum wrist...

OMORPHO MicroLoad Weighted Sports & Fitness Clothing

OMORPHO weighted sports and fitness clothing won't just omorpho you into a whole new level of athlete, or human with a hot, ripped body. But the line of "MicroLoad"-enhanced tops and bottoms could give you an edge as...

FITLY Minimalist Running Pack

$59 - $79 Amazon »

While I maintain a policy of running only in emergency situations, such as being about to miss a flight, or beating people who look like they're headed into the same line or restaurant I am, I do understand others run...

Back Bubble Spinal Decompressor & Back Stretcher

$298 - $398 Amazon »

Hey, if it stretches my spine, restores traction, and relieves my lower back pain, I don't care what kind of poon the Back Bubble makes me look like while I'm using it. Adult male in a baby carrier. Fat dude stuck in...

AquaBLAST Underwater Punching Bag

Sold Out Amazon »

It seems to me the AquaBLAST Underwater Punching Bag is what boxing would be like in one of my nightmares where I can only move and do stuff in slow motion. In other words: Not. Cool...

Upaloop Fitness Stool

$98.97 Amazon »

Upaloop-a, doompa-de-doo / I've got a brand new workout for you. Upaloop-a, doompa-de-dee / A fitness stool that will shrink a belly...

Yoga Auxiliary Chair

$135.99 Amazon »

Yoga Auxiliary Chair? Yoga Auxiliary Chair? Psssh, yeah. Yoga Auxiliary Chair. This is a sex chair if I ever saw one. Even the lady "doing yoga" on it looks like she supports my position. (And looks like she could support...

Walkolution Manual Treadmill Desks

$5,566 - $10,668 Walkolution »

Walk. Work. Walk while working. Work while walking. Ugh. It's like a bunch of F-words in a row, but with Ws. And speaking of F-words, F Walkolution manual treadmill desks. It's bad enough I have to perform mental gymnastics...

OODA Ball Free Weight Punching Bag

$86 - $94 Kickstarter »

Oooo, da ball's flyin' back at my face. Better punch it again or it's gonna fall! The OODA Ball combines the weight of a medicine ball, with the tactile sensation of a boxing bag, with the bounceback-right-at-your-kisser...

NormaTec 2.0 Legs - Air Compression Leg Massagers

$699 Amazon »

Who is this Norma and what does she know about air compression tech that's going to hug-massage my legs into a state of warm bliss? (Whilst simultaneously, and delightfully, making my lower half look like the proton-pack-blasted...

Chi Swing Machine

$308 Amazon »

Daiwa says their Vitality Swing, a chi swing machine, provides "passive exercise," and I don't know if that's true or possible, but I sure do like the sound of it. When in use, the machine sways back and forth, creating...

The-O Exercise Bike

A 2021 Red Dot Design Award winner, The-O is a stationary exercise bike that doubles as "an appealing piece of furniture" when not in use. Its designers, Kim Dambi, Kim Kyung Jin, Park Sangjin, and Park Sung Soon, see...

Innova Advanced Heat & Massage Inversion Table

$199.95 Amazon »

How do you ruin a massage? Make me get it in various states of hanging upside down. An advanced heat and massage inversion table, Innova? Who am I, Batman?...

Back Stretcher with Infrared Heating Pad

Sold Out Amazon »

Whose back is jacked? UTK's adjustable back stretcher comes topped with an infrared heating pad to provide additional muscular release and relaxation as you lengthen your spine, and let loose the cricks from your lumbar...

Ryflx Reaction Time, Coordination & Agility Trainer

$118 - $213 Kickstarter »

WFH fatigue. Zoom fatigue. COVID-related brain fog. Fun stuff? Nope. But the Ryflx reaction time, coordination & agility trainer, an attempt at curing such maladies, might be...

PIVOT Bed - Convertible Bed & Home Gym

$3,114.10 - $4,475.16 PIVOT Fitness »

"Pivot" was one of 2020's most pervasive buzzwords. And while Colin and Patricia Montgomery began working on their convertible PIVOT Bed in 2019, and it's now obviously 2021, the transforming bed-to-home-gym still hits...

Bullbar Freestanding, Folding Pull-Up Bar

$329 Bullbar »

I suck at pull-ups. But at least with the Bullbar, I can save the strength I'd normally expend to assemble, set up, and fight with my wife about how I didn't really ruin the doorway installing a pull-up bar, and direct...

Cryosleeve BOA Compression Ice Sleeve

$99.99 - $119.99 Amazon »

It sounds fancy, but Cryosleeve maker Recoup is quick to point out that the combination of "cryotherapy" and "compression" their pain and inflammation tool provides is really just a nice mix of ice and squeezing tight...

Kettlecross: The Kettlebell Hybrid

$56 - $319 Kickstarter »

Kettlecross, I appreciate your kettlebell hybrid design - the idea, the thought that's gone into it, the elimination of wrist and forearm stress during use. But I just can't pass up this opportunity to say: Yo, dudes!...

MonkeyFeet - Lift Dumbbells with Your Feet

Know what MonkeyFeet mean? No more sticking that dumbbell in your sweaty knee crease to do some donkey kicks and fire hydrants. The ability to do ham curls and weighted leg extensions without fancy gym machines. With...

HYPERBELL - Turn Your Dumbbells Into a Full Home Gym

$49 - $159 Jayflex Fitness »

HYPERBELL knows the home gym I've spent the last year-and-a-half building isn't going anywhere, regardless of when and whether I can go back to group fitness facilities. But, at least according to my wife, we need to...

VersaLifts V2 Heel Lift Inserts

$28.99 Amazon »

VersaLifts V2 Heel Lifts aren't here to help you get higher, the athletic shoe inserts are here to help you get lower. Made for people who want to squat deep, but have limited ankle mobility (yes, apparently there is...