Dude's Must See Products for July 2022
No fireworks in Dude's must see products for July 2022, but there is an ultra-loud disturbance of the peace that will probably give your dog a fear complex in the Screaming Aztec Death Whistle, pictured above. And if it's cats you prefer to antagonize, I've got a product made special for them too: the KiTiDOT Red Dot Laser Pointer Cat Collar. There's also a couple of cool e-vehicles, one wicked cool (the Indian eFTR Hooligan 1.2 e-Bike) and one funky cool (the BeTRITON Amphibious Camper-Trike). Enjoy.
Note: All products are priced as they were at printing on August 2, 2022. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Sun Joe Electric Hover Mower
Ooh, get part lawnmower, part Back to the Future with Sun Joe's Electric Hover Mower. The plug-in grass barber's 10-amp motor spins at up to 7,000 RPM, creating a cushion of air, and its namesake hover effect. Look, Ma! No wheels!
E151: What Is This Thing?
Hints: 1) It's your new companion for the gym, the pool, the hotel room, and maybe the rainy days; 2) It has a dry personality; 3) It has the hots for your underwear...oooh, and your socks too.
LEGO The Office
The Scranton office of Dunder Mifflin is now LEGO'd for business. Please see yourself to Michael's office to enjoy a chat with the World's Best Boss, the conference room in anticipation of this being the day the DVD icon bounces right into the corner of the screen, or the reception area to help Kevin clean up his chili.
UFO Night Light
Well, this UFO Night Light is certainly a subtler approach to the theme than the Alien Abduction Lamp, but, come on, nowhere near as fun. Available in lacquered black and white, I guess this UFO Night Light is the perfect UFO Night Light choice for the modern, minimalist household. The nightstands and coffee tables that also sport Session Goods Designer Series bongs and pipes.
11 Subversive Gifts for People You Don't Like Much
Why would you buy gifts for people you don't like much? Because they're family, and you have to. Or, though they're not really a friend, they're part of your friend group, and they're having a birthday party, and you have to. Or you drew them for Secret Santa, and you have to. Or they're your girlfriend / boyfriend, and you haven't found the guts to break up with them yet...and you have to.
So. If you have to buy gifts for people you don't like much, why not make them subversive gifts? Gifts them undermine their recipients, bring them down a notch or two, embarrass the smugness right out of them. You like it? Yeah, me too. Enjoy.
Solethreads Recliner Flip-Flops
The bad news: Solethreads Recliner Flip-Flops are not made from actual recliners. The good news: they're made from actual yoga mats instead. This is probably even better because, while recliners are indeed muy comfortable for you back and butt regions, would you really want to stand on top of one all day? Yoga mats on the other hand - get those toesies ready for some supreme squishy-foam comfort.
Indian eFTR Hooligan 1.2 e-Bike
Despite Indian Motorcyle's best aesthetic efforts, the Indian eFTR Hooligan 1.2 e-Bike still looks more like a bicycle than a motorcycle, but hey. At least you don't need a license to ride one. You'll get a few other perks with eFTR Hooligan ownership too.
The e-bike pairs an electric powertrain by SUPER73 with Indian's moto-inspired styling. The former controls 4 different pedal assist modes: Level 0, no assist; Level 1, ECO; Level 2, TOUR; Level 3, SPORT; and Level 4, SUPER. At ECO, the eFTR Hooligan can achieve a 20mph max speed over a 75-mile range per charge. At SUPER, the e-bike is ready for offroading, delivering 2,000 watts of power and throttle speeds over 28mph.
Rocket 30-in-1 Multi-Tool
It's called the Rocket because it has enough tools to build you a spaceship to Mars! ... No, not really. But the Rocket 30-in-1 Multi-Tool from Tekto Gear does pack a galactic number of implements into a Pluto-sized package primed to be your new favorite piece of EDC.
Screaming Aztec Death Whistle
How have I never heard of a Screaming Aztec Death Whistle? In all my efforts to exact revenge on my ex-girlfriend, Karen, in all my attempts to prank my friend Cornelius, in all my ploys to convince my mother-in-law our condo complex is haunted and they should really stay in a hotel or Airbnb instead, how have I never heard of a Screaming Aztec Death Whistle?!
Welp, as they say, better late than never.
E153: What Is This Thing?
Hints: 1) If you want to use it, you better be ready to get wet; 2) It doesn't look like a pleasure tool, but indeed pleasure is what it endeavors to bring; 3) It could make you right in the head.
Gardena Leaf & Lawn Collector
The leaves may not be falling yet, but look at them up there. All green and wispy, shaking their golden ratioed little asses in the wind. They're just biding their time. Waiting for a few brisk nights. A random September snow. And then...it's brown and on the ground, en masse, like that.
So no, my dudes, the leaves may not be falling yet, but you know, and I know, and the Gardena Leaf & Lawn Collector knows one thing for sure: Autumn is coming.
BeTRITON Amphibious Camper-Trike
The BeTRITON Amphibious Camper-Trike is finally taking after the first Little Piggy and going to market! Formerly known, and seen here, as the Z-Triton, this 2.0 upgraded and rebranded recreational vehicle is still 100% electric, 100% versatile, and most importantly if you need a most stellar gift for your girlfriend, 100% adorable.
For the BeTRITON, "amphibious" means you can ride the vehicle on land using its electric-assisted bicycle front half and the two-wheeled camper the partial bike tows behind it, or drive it through the water via an electric boat motor and steering controls located in the camper end's cabin (i.e., the opposite end of the bike handlebars). The BeTRITON is made to carry and sleep 2 people at a time, and suitable both for a day of recreation around town, or longer distance adventures through nature.
Clone-A-Willy Penis & Balls Molding Kit
And you thought you had run out of good ideas for date night. The Clone-A-Willy Penis & Balls Molding Kit will put your relationship skills to the testes, requiring both partners to perform dick moves to assist one in creating a perfect penis mold, and then a silicone replica of it. But get through the initial cockfight - using the Clone-A-Willy molding gel and silicone could get messy - and you'll both enjoy a handsome reward.
The clonee will receive a highly detailed sculpture of his junk to admire. And the assistant will receive a highly detailed sculpture of his junk to use. Because when I say "silicone replica of your penis & balls," what I really mean is "personalized dildo." Poured from medical-grade platinum cure silicone, a substance that is, according to Clone-A-Willy, "the gold standard of sex toys."
KiTiDOT Red Dot Laser Pointer Cat Collar
There are fun cat toys. There are frustrating cat toys. There are evil cat toys. And then there's the KiTiDOT red dot laser pointer cat collar. A collar with a built-in projector of a perpetually un-pounceable red dot that the victim himself must bear and beam to his own torment! It even has 3 different lighting modes!
RM UP-01 Ferrari Ultra-Flat Watch
Ultra-flat and ultra-light aren't typically words you'd use to describe a Ferrari, but the RM UP-01 Ferrari Watch still manages to capture the spirit of the brand with its other ultras. An ultra-groundbreaking design. An ultra-sleek aesthetic. Ultra-luxe materials. And an ultra-extravagant price tag.
The RM UP-01 Ferrari is a collaboration between the automaker and Swiss luxury watch brand Richard Mille. At just 1.75mm, or 0.07", thick, it does what the CST-01 failed to do, and beats out the Piaget Altiplano Ultimate Concept by 0.25mm.
Zero Breeze Mark 2 Portable, Off-Grid Air Conditioner
Zero Breeze's Mark 2 is a portable air conditioner made especially for off-grid encounters with excessive heat. The unit is battery-powered, and can operate with your own 24V battery supply, or one of Zero Breeze's (no generator required) to cool surrounding spaces by up to 30 degrees F for 3 to 5 hours.