Freezy Freakies Retro Color-Changing Adult Snow Gloves
/freezy-freakies-retro-40261.jpg "Freezy Freakies Retro Color-Changing Adult Snow Gloves")
A little Hot Tub Time Machine mixed with a little 6-year-old you, and voila! Freezy Freakies retro color-changing snow gloves are back. Even better, these badass winter warmers of the 80s have grown with you, but in size only. The gloves feature the bitchin' scenes and cold-activated images you remember from your childhood, only bigger. Big enough to fit man hands.
Freezy Freakies Fighter Jet Snow Gloves
Pew, pew, pew. When your teeth start chattering, the lasers start firing, and the fighter jet fills in to battle back. Gotta love the 80s' perspective on an intergalactic fight scene.
If this were still the 80s I'd say Freezy Freakies should have included Tom Cruise's face in the fighter jet. But since it's the 2010s and we know a lot more about where Cruise's personal interests and loyalties lie, I think they should have his head sticking out of one of the alien ships.
Freezy Freakies Robot Snow Gloves
Did they have Thinsulate and micro fleece lining in the 80s? Maybe today's Freezy Freakies retro gloves have gotten more than just a size upgrade. Version Robot here goes all Optimus Prime on you when exposed to a chill.
Freezy Freakies Ski Alpine Snow Gloves
Pink! Blue! Green! Yellow! White! Every member of a basic box of Crayolas represents in Freezy Freakies' Ski Alpine color-changers. It's actually hard to tell which elements of this eye-popping, Punky-Brewster-approved set of gloves magically appear when the temperature drops.
Spoiler: it's the lion-maned, O-mouthed lady on skis.
Freezy Freakies Turbo Snow Gloves
From 0 to 60 in 40 degrees. The Turbo gloves are race car themed for the dudes begrudgingly wearing gloves and suffering through winter weather, waiting for summer to come again.
Freezy Freakies Unicorn Snow Gloves
At printing the best Freezy Freakies of all were sold out. But it's still nice to dream of owning these puffy pink bundles of 80s joy, just as we dream of owning the the magical creatures - which are technically unicorn-pegasus hybrids - they depict.
/Darkfin-Gloves-109.jpg?mode=crop "Darkfin Gloves")
Darkfin Gloves
Ever wondered what it might be like to have webbed fingers? Wonder no longer. These durable latex rubber gloves will have you flying by other frogs in the water. Perfect for SCUBA diving, swimming, surfing, and even jumping...
/alter-ego-gloves-9048.jpg?mode=crop "Alter Ego Football Gloves")
Alter Ego Football Gloves
Getting pummeled and concussed by a 350-pound defensive lineman as I fumble the team's potentially game-winning TD during the last play of the 4th quarter still might be worth it if I had a pair of Under Armour's Alter...
Skuuzi Beer Glove
Of course I don't need a mitten-koozie hybrid so that I may drink chilled alcoholic beverages in freezing temperatures, one right after another like the gluttonous, midwestern lush that I am, without rendering my delicate...
/Handerpants-580.jpg?mode=crop "Handerpants")
Handerpants
Finally a real need has been filled. Underpants for your hands. Great for protecting your hands while... eating chocolate and scratching your butt? Maybe these gloves should be worn under your regular gloves to protect...
/owl-mittens-57096.jpg?mode=crop "Owl Mittens")
Owl Mittens
Well owl be damned. They didn't just make some Owl Mittens, they made some Owl Mittens covered in owls so realistic they are kind of creeping me out to look at, and I hope I never encounter anyone wearing a pair!...
/laser-vortex-gloves-51473.jpg?mode=crop "Laser Vortex Gloves")
Laser Vortex Gloves
I look at these Laser Vortex Gloves from Light Up Clothing Store, and just one thing comes to mind: Cartman's about to get an anal probe*...
/flippin-mittens-47869.jpg?mode=crop "Flippin' Mittens")
Flippin' Mittens
If you can't score a pair of Bernie Mittens, might I suggest Flippin' Mittens as a close second in eye-catching and meme-worthy mitten designs? Running as a limited edition from Matt Benedetto's Unnecessary Inventions...
/never-let-go-parent-child-56883.jpg?mode=crop "Never Let Go Parent-Child Mittens")
Never Let Go Parent-Child Mittens
Never gonna give you up / Never gonna let you go / Never gonna let your fingers get cold / Never gonna say goodbye / But I might make you cry / If you try to slip out of my handhold...
/autodromo-stringback-driving-59076.jpg?mode=crop "Autodromo Stringback Driving Gloves")
Autodromo Stringback Driving Gloves
Splinters! That's the reason behind driving gloves. I mean, that's what I deduce when Autodromo says, "Throughout the 1950s and into the 1960s, racing drivers relied on the stringback driving glove to protect their palms...
/claw-gloves-45595.jpg?mode=crop "Claw Gloves")
Claw Gloves
"Life's a bitch...now so am I!" From the wrist down, anyway, for those looking to channel their inner Catwoman in a pair of Vixy Den's Claw Gloves. Stalking around town as a DC antiheroine is just the tip of the talon...
/articulated-finger-extensions-56152.jpg?mode=crop "Articulated Finger Extensions")
Articulated Finger Extensions
What comes to mind when you see these Articulated Finger Extensions? Freddy Krueger? Edward Scissorhands? The Nightmare Before Christmas? Your black-hearted ex-girlfriend Karen (who, coincidentally, was named Karen before...
/mobile-game-finger-sleeves-42024.jpg?mode=crop "Mobile Game Finger Sleeves")
Mobile Game Finger Sleeves
Sweaty thumbs killing your vibe - and your character - in PUBG and Survivor Royale? You may have laughed at the likes of mobile game finger sleeves in the past, but when it's your own fingers growing clammy and causing...