Funky Foot Care: Strange Products for Your Feet

An oldie but a goodie when it comes to the funky and freaky. My wife uses one of these medieval-looking razor blade contraptions to "shave" the dead and callused skin off her feet. And about every 5th time she takes a little too much off the top if you know what I mean. And let me tell you, big toes, those piggies are bleeders.

NakeFit stick-on shoes - or, to be more precise, NakeFit hypoallergenic adhesive pads - remind me of when I'm walking barefoot and start to feel like something's stuck to my heel, but I'm loath to look down because I just know it's going to be someone's dirty old Band-Aid. Except with NakeFits the thing stuck to my foot would be supposed to be there. It would also be helping to protect me from the dirty old Band-Aids in my path, along with any sharp objects and fungal infections looking to latch on to my feet too.

I don't know what medieval witch magic Baby Foot puts in their Exfoliant Foot Peel to produce the skin-molting effects you see before you but, even though it would make perfect sense here, I promise you it's not snake oil.

Five to 7 days after you follow the package directions to apply a Baby Foot bootie filled with Baby foot solution, the dead skin on your feet begins to peel off in sheets. No joke, and no exaggeration. There are literally thousands of reviews of this foot beautifier, from all kinds of men and women, and dozens of customer photos showing sickly fascinating individual results.

Gah! Gah! Gah! This nail fungus repair pen is fine, great even, in and of itself, but the "proof that it works" photos? Gah! Gah! Gah! I'm about to lose my lunch, and I haven't even had lunch yet today. Toenails with fungal infections are naaaasty. No wonder people who have them are jumping all over a Nail Repair Pen that (says it) will get crusty, cracking, yellowing spores the hell away from their feet.

I suppose GoSt Barefoots' decision to name these shoes PaleoBarefoots appeals to a wider market, but I'm calling them Chainmail Shoes. Because it sounds so much cooler. And regardless of which fad the German company is catering to, the fact of the matter is that what lie before us here are foot sheaths made of mother F'in chainmail. Hundreds of individually welded, 4.0 mm stainless steel rings worth of chainmail to be precise.

In addition to heightened traction and grip, purported health benefits of wearing PaleoBarefoot include: reflexology; more precise foot and body movements thanks to direct contact with the earth; Kneipp temperature and moistures effects; and a natural way to challenge and train the entire foot, leading to a reduced risk of injury.

Got a bunion in the oven? This wearable corrective device will pop it right out. Well, maybe not right out. Seems I read somewhere it takes about 9-1/2 months....

The bunion corrector is a foot brace with a rotating design that helps provide bunion pain relief during wear. It's not a permanent fix, even with use over time, but more of a Band-Aid to help alleviate discomfort without impeding your ability to walk and move normally during the day.