Presenting the Alphabet: 20 Gifts that Start with L

Well I hope the Reloaded version of Lightning Reaction doesn't follow in the footsteps of The Matrix and suck. Or maybe it's being cheeky and willingly emulating the trilogy's second installment - in the sense that while the original Lightning Reaction was unique and exhilarating, Lightning Reaction Reloaded is just plain painful. In any case, sending a defibrillating jolt of electricity through Grandma because she's got the slowest reaction time sounds like a grand cap off to Christmas with the fam. Maybe it will even put some pep back into her step. That wind-up granny can't beat you across the room now, can she, Nana?

If you've been using your noodle you've probably learned how valuable a bendy rope of lights can be. And now your flexible, adaptable, bright-burning noodle has a new form with yet another application: TV backlighting. The Luminoodle TV sticks around the perimeter of the back of your flat screen (or computer monitor) to provide ambient lighting during viewing. It's an alternative to dealing with the glare of a lamp turned on in front of the television, and helps eliminate the eye strain and dryness that can come with watching a bright screen in a dark room.

It's lights out - all lights out - with LightDims Black Out Edition. These light-blocking LED covers are designed specifically to mask the lights on your laptop / desktop computer, appliances, and other electronics. The ones you might find as distracting and irritating to your eyes as Karen, Sharon, Becky, and Chad are to your life in general.

Link flip-shoes, a hybrid their makers call "free like a flip-flop, safe as a shoe," are here to prove you wrong about at least one thing: no matter what you thought about Crocs or Keen Uneek monstrosities, Redneck Boot Sandals or any other shoe on earth, up to this point, you had not yet seen the ugliest.

Nothing sets off a slit better than...well, the leg underneath it. Ahem, Angelina Jolie. But after that, definitely one of these Leg Chains. Any one of them. They're all hot. So hot. Like, Yowza!, Waa-waa-wee-wow!, How you doin'? hot. My preference is the dangly silver Leg Chain with the turquoise bauble, but I'd take my wife, She-Ra: Princess Power, in any one of them.

Leg Chains secure at the thigh with an elastic band that maybe isn't comfortable, and maybe doesn't stay up that well after a while of wear, but, you know what they say about beauty and style and being sexy.

All LEGO sets present their builders with a puzzle of sorts, but cheat3 Puzzles levels up the process with their LEGO Puzzle Boxes. The brick formations arrive assembled, and in your choice of Easy, Medium, or Hard difficulty ratings, but the challenge here isn't to build your own LEGO creation, but to get "prizes" to pop out of the one cheat3 has designed.

Some LEGO Puzzle Boxes can hold actual prizes, such as a gift card, but others simply contain LEGO money bricks your goal is to make pop out of the sides of the box using included poker tools to shift and rearrange the bricks surrounding them.

Finally! A wearable dental dam! Lorals Latex Panties, despite being able to stop right there - latex panties? I'm in! Wrap some in every style up as a gift for my wife - aren't just sexy underwear to look at, they're functional underwear to don during sexy time. Lorals deems their brand of ultra-thin disposable latex panties, "A new way to say yes to oral," because they enable ladies to enjoy them some oral sex without fully exposing their pleasure parts.

While I can't play a guitar, and know nothing about guitar builds and quality, I do LAVA ME some carbon fiber, and LAVA's LAVA ME 2 unibody guitar is made with Super AirSonic carbon fiber material. And not only to make it look cool.

As with many carbon fiber applications, the LAVA ME 2's Super AirSonic fibers make the guitar ultralight, just 3.7 pounds. Combined with its one-piece injection molded technology, LAVA says the LAVA ME 2 is more comfortable to hold and play than a traditional guitar, but sacrifices none of the acoustics.

The Lilly Brush pet hair remover is named not after the tidy, hairless flower, but a shedding ball of fur and fluff and floof, who herself was (perhaps erroneously) named after the tidy, hairless flower. Lilly was Lilly Brush founder Elsie Hamilton's Australian Shepherd, and the dog who taught her old-school sticky pet hair rollers and velvety scrapers were anything but the cat's meow.

This version of the Lilly Brush is their Mini Pet Remover, a 4" x 3" tool with scraper-style edges and pointed corners strong enough to dig out and ball up embedded dog, cat, rabbit, and snake fur from couches, carpet, clothes, car seats, and any other crevices it nestles into.

Little Penis! You and your finger puppet are so dirty. No, Dirty. With a great big "D". It's cool, though. Dirty Santa approves. He gives you 2 thumbs and 1 eyed willy up. And those who want to wrap up this finger puppet parody children's book that is 100% not suitable for children as a Dirty Santa or White Elephant gift this year can make the ruse even...rusier?...by packing Little Penis in a Shark Fart Prank Gift Box.

The Liteboxer is a connected boxing platform that "knocks out boredom by immersing you in music, competition and punches." Its LED-lit targets and trademarked Rhythm Technology sync to the beat of the music pumping from the attached Liteboxer speaker, cueing you to punch along to the 8-count at your selected level of difficulty. Kind of like playing Whac-A-Mole in the club.

The Liteboxer companion app comes with a variety of types and levels of training sessions, including a growing collection led by boxing trainers. You can also supplement the intense cardio partio with Liteboxer's functional strength training and yoga-based workouts.