Presenting the Alphabet: 22 Gifts that Start with P
PPPPPPresenting the Alphabet! We've hit the Ps, my dudes...no, my peeps. From Popdarts to Power Reels, Power Idolz to Pep Talks, and Porsches to Pyros, I've got all the best P has to offer right here. Even the 2 poop gifts in my collection of 22 aren't shitty at all.
Note: All alphabet gifts are priced as they were at printing on December 23, 2022. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Pep Talk Generator Poster
Holiday stress and depression. Recession gloom. Anger of your favorite movies and TV shows vanishing from HBO Max. Methinks 2023 is gonna be the Year of the Pep Talk. Oh, hey, here's a Pep Talk Generator Poster to help us all out.
Pool Punisher Inflatable Tank with Water Cannon
The Pool Punisher reminds us there are pool floats that mean pool floatin', and pool floats that mean pool business. And this inflatable tank with a built-in water cannon means pool business. The giant pool toy does a decent job of shaping and decorating itself like a military tank ready for battle, and an even better job of taking that battle to water with its "armor": a deep inset seat for a single rider; and a pump action squirt gun able to blast liquid ammo up to 50'.
Poop Like a Champion Cereal
New year, new you...from the inside out with Poop Like a Champion cereal! Cleanse your colon of 2022 - or maybe just the indulgences of New Year's Eve - with this number-two-inducing blend of soluble and insoluble fiber packed into little nuggets in the shape of the superstar you'll feel like after your bowels meet a bowl of Poop Like a Champion cereal.
OK, maybe a bowl of Poop Like a Champion cereal, plus an hour or two for its corn bran, whole grain sorghum flour, psyllium husk, and inulin to take effect.
Pocket Shot PRO Arrow Slingshot
Pocket Shot ups their slingshot game with the Pocket Shot Pro Arrow Pouch. Where the original slingshot reinvented shooting with a stretchy pouch that fires steel slugs, marbles, .4 cal paintballs, and Airsoft ammo, this one graduates archers and hunters to full-size archery arrows.
Pindaloo Skill Toy
The Pindaloo Skill Toy says it's a great gift for kids and adults alike. And after watching the YouTube video of the U-tube in action, I have to agree. I give the Pindaloo 2 pipe ends up, and have just bought a batch for all my nieces and nephews, plus Mario and Luigi.
The Pindaloo was developed to help children learn through play. In this case the learning comes in the form of hand-eye coordination, agility, and precision; and the play comes through circling a yellow ball - or two - through the Pindaloo tube. I imagine the feel is similar to juggling, with many tricks possible for advanced Pindaloo-ers. With the exception of subbing out the balls for knives or watermelons.
Pull Start Fire - Pull String Firestarter
Hey, hey, pull my fire! DOOSH! Instant log ignition. Now. Wanna make it bigger?
Pull my finger.
The Pull Start Fire is a super simple (at least from the looks of the GIF) means of lighting a campfire, bonfire, or emergency flames for smoke signals that requires no matches or lighter. Or for that matter, skills with a ferro rod or fire piston. According to its makers, this pull string firestarter also burns 2 times hotter than the competition, and for 30 to 40 minutes on its own so logs have ample time to catch without kindling.
Pinch Hold Rock Climber's Mug
I've seen a mug for rock climbers before - a very good one in the Cliff Hanger Mug - but this Pinch Hold Mug, damn. In some ways it's a finger grip and strength challenge even more dangerous than scaling the side of a rock. No harness and no belay here; you lose your pinch, you got a crotchful of hot coffee to deal with.
PanWaffle - Hybrid Pancake/Waffle Maker
Pancake + Waffle = PanWaffle. If you're being unimaginative. I can think of so many better names for this hybrid pan ready to griddle me 2 delicious breakfast staples in one. Like, Have Your Pancake and Waffle It Down Too. Or Flapjack Up Your Waffle. Or Pwaffke.
Alright. I guess PanWaffle's fine.
The PanWaffle griddle presses, molds, and turns out the best of a fluffy, smooth pancake, and a crisp, syrup-corralling waffle in a single batch. Never again will you have to cap off your raging Saturday night with the excruciating Sunday morning decision of whether to feed your hangover pancakes or waffles.
Power Reels Constant Resistance Fitness Tool
Don't get too excited, fishermen. Power Reels might help you build the strength to pull in the big one, but these dumbbell-resistance band hybrids are all about self-imposed, not catch-imposed, sweat, burn, and grunt. A portable fitness tool and total body gym, Power Reels are designed to provide constant resistance over the full range of the exercise you're using them for, making your muscles work harder to move weight that feels much more intense than the 3-, 5-, and 8-pound resistances the Reels come in.
Pyro Mini Fireshooter
If the Mario Bros. Fire Flowers aren't popping up in your neighborhood this year, Ellusionist magician Adam Wilber has another little something that will help you launch fireballs from your empty hands. The Pyro Mini is an open-palm fireshooter, and a sleek, compact, upgraded version of the original flame roller Wilber developed in 2014.
The double-barreled Pyro Mini has been streamlined for easy and, when treated responsibly, safe use. Fireball kindling comes in Flash Packs, a treated tissue paper that burns super fast and disappears just as quick. At 50% smaller than the original Pyro, the Pyro Mini can ignite and eject its flame spheres without drawing attention to the wrist unit itself. No bulk, no awkwardness, no clues given about the badass source of your badass sorcery.
The Poop Knife
The Poop Knife is here to help slice your most delightful doodoo delicacies with the deftness of a sushi chef. Mmmm, this shit's good.
I joke, I joke. And so does the Poop Knife. It was the best gag gift of 2020, a year when we all spent way too much time at home sitting on our couches, eating gobs of takeout, and clogging up our toilets.
See, the Poop Knife isn't for slicing and dicing turds for toothsome endeavors, it's for breaking up the big boys to ensure they take a smooth trip down the tubes. A journey through the plumbing pipes that doesn't end with you huffing and puffing at the other end of a plunger.
Pakayak - Packable Kayak
Despite its Russian doll appearance, Pakayak construction differs little from that of the most respected kayaks available today. The segmented boats are made of kayak-specific plastic resin and interlock with a 275-pound capacity strength and watertight construction. The resilient design follows one that has already shown success in the SCUBA industry - it also makes underwater dive cameras and dive lights possible. Pakayak sections maintain their seal with a 4-point clamping technology that also creates bulkheads at the connection points. The company says these bulkheads actually increase the overall strength of the boat because they are stronger than the hull itself.
Pakayaks should take no more than 5 minutes to assemble, and during use they should feel and paddle just like a traditional kayak. =
Privacy Pop Bed Tent
Privacy Pop is a tent that attaches to most any standard-issue twin, full, or queen-size bed to form a cocoon of seclusion while sleeping, studying, or performing other -ing endeavors that require shielding from the curious eyes of third parties.
Privacy Pop is also an effective way to keep the blinding light of morning from infiltrating your peaceful state of slumber/heavy drunken pass out post-winning the dorm's Irish Car Bomb Challenge.
The bed tent earns the "Pop" part of its moniker from its easy portability and compaction traits. Privacy can travel anywhere now, folding down into a small carrying case for use not only during stints at college and Buddhist communes, but also rowdy vacations or sleepovers when alone time is at a premium.
Pet Peek Dog Window
The Pet Peek is a 9-1/2" acrylic dome installed in your pre-existing wood or vinyl fence that instills the pant-wetting fear in solar panel salesmen, kids selling little league raffle tickets, and other unwanted visitors your "Beware of Dog" sign just can't muster.
Power Idolz Wireless Charging Docks
I don't even know where to begin with Power Idolz Wireless Charging Docks. How about, that they're wireless charging docks is the least interesting thing about them? These "characters" from iconic 70s and 80s movies, plus a Sonic the Hedgehog thrown in for good measure, feature the arms, legs, and notable accessories of ET, Marty McFly from Back to the Future, one of the Ghostbusters, and Quint from Jaws. But instead of heads and chests, maker Numskull has given the Power Idolz exact miniature replicas of the VHS cassettes and gaming cartridges they represent.
PATCH Zero Waste Bamboo Bandages
Patch up your wounds without gouging, stinging, cutting, scraping, burning, or blistering the environment with PATCH bandages, first aid adhesive strips strips made from bamboo fiber that create zero waste post-use. PATCH Bamboo Bandages are 100% compostable and biodegradable, breaking down and ready for reabsorption back into the earth in 10 weeks after you discard them.
Popdarts Suction Cup Throwing Game
Designed as a pointy darts alternative, Popdarts is suitable for play indoors or out, anywhere you have a smooth surface for the suction cups to stick to. Think countertops, refrigerators, windows, glass doors or tabletops, car windshields, your father-in-law's bald head.... Rather than sticking to a bullseye and its environs, Popdarts stick to the playing surface you select, with points awarded based on how close you get to the Popdart Target Marker.
PlaneTags - Retired Aircraft Skin Collectibles
First they fly, then they're flayed! PlaneTags are collectibles hand cut, stamped, and shaped from the skins of retired aircraft. The ID-style tags are a new - and far more affordable - line from MotoArt, the California-based shop that's spent the last 2 decades repurposing salvaged parts from decommissioned aircraft into Ice-Man-cool beds, desks, bars, and other furniture.
Dozens of different airplane types and models have been skinned (kindly, gently, the didn't even feel it!) to create PlaneTags. In addition to reclaiming, cutting, and finishing the smooth ellipses in a range of colors and patinas, MotoArt also individually etches each PlaneTag with a outline of the aircraft, its make and model, identifying information, such as serial or tail number, and the tag's own number in its aircraft skin series.
Prinker Temporary Tattoo Printer
Granted, the latter purported to be a real programmable tattoo system, one that surgically implants an e-ink panel into your body to accommodate and correct changing whims and drunk mistakes, and the Prinker is up front that its tatts won't last much longer than the ones from the gumball machine. But if you have some pent-up creativity, want to try before your buy or test out your own body art designs, or just have a tattoo-worthy event coming up, the Prinker has you covered. From head to toe, if you like.
PepperBall VKS Launcher
POW! you're...not dead. But down. Courtesy of the PepperBall VKS Launcher, a non-lethal gun created for self defense, and law enforcement and military training.
The PepperBall Variable Kinetic System Launcher shoots a few different types of .68-caliber projectiles, with an adjustable kinetic impact of between 10 and 28 joules. PepperBall's VXR projectiles also have an accurate firing distance of up to 150'. PepperBall brand creator, United Tactical Systems, says the "VKS Launcher is PepperBall's strongest non-lethal weapon available in the market to date."
Porsche 911 1:4 Scale Working Flat-Six Boxer Engine Kit
Although building a Porsche 911 1:4 scale working flat-six boxer engine won't get you any closer to owning or driving a Porsche 911, this 280+-piece model kit will give you detailed insight into what makes the coveted sports car rev. Plus, engine model assembly is suitable for anyone ages 10 and up, so it could be a swell way to spend some quality time with your kids.
Pure White Hell Jigsaw Puzzle
Pure White Hell. What a phrase! Here it applies to the Pure White Hell Jigsaw Puzzle, but I can think of several choice applications.
I'll stick to the puzzle for now.
Despite its angelic hue, I think Satan would indeed be a proud papa to this 1,000-piece beast, the nature of which is clearly purely demonic. Facing the jigsaw looks like a fate equal to facing Jigsaw John Kramer himself, and it's one reason I did not include the Pure White Hell Jigsaw Puzzle in my list of the best jigsaw puzzles to do when you're stuck at home.