The Dude Presents: 31 Holiday Gifts for Men in 2021

Come to the Dark Side...or the Light Side. They both have the sexiest smoking accessories your strains will ever see in Session Goods' Designer Series of all black and all white bongs, pipes, and cleaning caps.

The All-in Wonder Mount by Mount Genie is a space-saving, decluttering nylon and Velcro strap that...I'm sorry, but heh-heh, heh-heh, they said, All-in Wonder Mount, Beavis. And Mount Genie. Heh-heh, heh-heh. I'll have to ask my wife later if she wants an All-in Wonder Mount wish granted from the Mount Genie that is this guy.

So anyway, what is this product? Do I even care now that I have its hump-diddly-umptious innuendo to play with in my head all day?

Alright, alright, the All-in Wonder Mount is a commercial-grade mobile bracketing system, made largely for the electronics used by contractors and military personnel, but also happy to serve anyone who wants to temporarily mount, or rotate items they have mounted, in a specific spot on the wall.

Armed fighters of the Roman Empire, don't get your panties in a bunch. The Gladiator Cargo Net is not a sheath of heavy-duty weatherproofed webbing with triple-layered reinforced edges made for strapping down one's cargo of gladiators. It's just named after you. For being heavy-duty and weatherproofed with reinforced edges yourselves.

Gladiator Cargo Nets say they tie down truck loads better than alternatives thanks to an integrated rip-stop mesh covering one side of the webbing. The mesh keeps the net smooth on one side to prevent snagging while loading, plus allows for securing smaller items that might otherwise fly out between the grid squares. Its industrial strength rating means that even if the mesh is punctured, the tear won't grow.

Cut from your choice of solid stainless steel or brass, and finished raw to preserve machining marks, the Grovemade Task Knife's primary task is to look elegant and minimalist sitting on its stand. That's right, a stand, not a sheath that would hide it from admiring eyes.

By the same token, Grovemade notes the Task Knife is "practically indestructible," and "hefty and delicate at the same time." It is particularly skilled at opening boxes, but is also suitable for other basic desk duties. Fidget toy included, as the Task Knife is Grovemade to feel nice in the hand.

Protect all D'CENTS and D'DOLLARS of Bitcoin, Dogecoin, Ethereum, or whatever cryptocurrency you've bought up with this biometric cryptocurrency hardware wallet. The Bluetooth-enabled cold storage device protects your private crypto keys with a certified Secure chip(EAL5+) and built-in fingerprint sensor, which both prevent others from accessing your money, and allow you to authorize transactions quickly and securely.

Some days I feel like a hero, and other days I feel like a HERO. I'm talking fat stacked sandwiches and BBQ brats cooked on a portable charcoal grilling system here, of course. Not me, like, helping my mama with her flooded basement in a small heroic kind of way, and definitely not me saving a puppy from a coyote in a BIG HEROIC kind of way.

If you're my kind of hero, maybe you need a hero and a HERO too. The latter, Fire & Flavor's HERO, packs a grill large enough to feed a hungry dude like myself, plus my normal-appetited wife, into a 15" x 11.5" briefcase that weighs less than 10 pounds.

The SpyraTwo water gun, a follow-up to the successful SpyraOne, is a water battler that replaces the streaming shots of other water guns with a powerful 30mL "water bullet." Why pelt your friends with horizontal raindrops instead of the tried-and-true Supersoaker surge? SpyraTwo puts the force of German engineering and a rechargeable li-on battery behind its shots, creating an H2prOjectile firing power capable of hitting targets 30' feet away with the blaster's standard shot, and 46' away using the new Power Shot feature.

Building my own watch with one of Rotate's All-In-One Watchmaking Kits sounds like quite the accomplishment. I'd be very pleased with myself, and wear that watch until the end of time, if I did that. "If" being the key word here.

Rotate rates the difficulty levels of each timepiece in their line of DIY mechanical watch building kits. "Medium" and "Hard" are the only two that make an appearance. And I'm more of an "Easy"-going dude. So, yeah, I'll leave the Rotate All-In-One Watchmaking Kits to you 5-star tinkerers, makers, and Operation masters out there.

LEGO my head! Your personalized LEGO minifigure awaits, at least from the neck up, courtesy of your submitted photos and Funky 3D Faces' 3D printing skills. The Etsy shop will transform any man, woman, or child submitted into a sandstone material head with a 5mm diameter hole on the bottom. A hole in your head you need, for once, because it will allow you to snap your LEGO self onto any standard LEGO minifigure body out there. Cowboy, firefighter, superhero, Chandler Bing, George Costanza, you name it.

The myth, the legend, the Firebird. Nixie tube timepieces have carved out their niche amongst steampunk fans, tech geeks, and many a bachelor pad, but Nixie Watch Store's Firebird Nixie Tube Watch could look right at home on the wrist of just about any dude with an appreciation for unique design and style.

Despite its showcase of Cold-War-era cathodes, the Firebird Watch comes off as sleek and modern thanks to Nixie Watch Store's chunky geometric case and tire tread rubber band. The case is made of milled and then anodized hard aluminum alloy, with sapphire crystal glass laid over the top to protect the nixie tubes.

Thumb your nose at the Bourbon Nosing Kit, and the snobbery you think it represents, but train your sniffer to better identify the aromas in your snifter, and you might end up knocking yourself out with the whole new sensory experience you'll enjoy every time you sip a glass. You might become an even bigger bourbon enthusiast than you were before. You might become a bourbon snob yourself. Or, at the very least, a bourbon lush.

Nose Your Bourbon has hand-compiled, bottled, and labeled odiferous elements representing the wood, grain, sweet, spice and fruit / floral components typically included in a bourbon tasting wheel into Bourbon Nosing Kits. Each box contains 18 items in screw-top containers, plus instructions on how to play the sniffing game - essentially pour, swirl, smell, smell, sip, chew, smell, smell.

Not only does this bad boy track the price of your choice of cryptocurrency - Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dogecoin, etc. - in real time, but this bad boy is also a lady. Her name is Pauline. Pauline the Crypto Price Ticker.

Created by Exit Via the Gift Shop, Pauline is built with an e-Paper screen for viewing at any angle your crypto's current price, plus its symbol, % change over 7 days, and a graph of its historic price. The real time ticker gets her feeds via WiFi, and is around the size of a deck of cards, so you can set her up anywhere, or carry her room to room with you to preclude constant frantic price checking on your phone or computer.

You can reach me at P.O. Box Don't Touch My Shit. And just in case you forget, I've locked the most valuable of it (cash, stash, Hot Wheels collectibles) up inside one of these very fine vintage post office door safes.

Woodworker and US Army veteran Brent Nelson reclaims real vintage post office box doors, and fits them onto the front of his handmade hardwood safes / banks. The "Double Eagle" post office box door shown in the featured safe above is solid brass, and around 100 years old. The rest of the cabinet is made of solid American walnut, with sides set together using box joints for extra strength, and finished with lacquer to bring out its natural color.

Hey. Dude. Never before has there existed a more Dudeworthy shoe than the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer. Piece by piece, I am going to break down this footwear, and tell you why.

First, there's, "Hey." The shoe's greeting to me. It's perhaps not the most polite way to obtain my attention, but that's cool, I'm no princess.

Then we have "Dude." Mine own name in the brand's title. No further explanation required.

"Wally" is next, and while that may not seem so obvious to many of you, the name "Wally" holds a special place in my heart. It is the name I would bestow upon the son I neither have nor ever want.

"Stretch." These shoes stretch! Like all my favorite clothing, particularly the waistbands of my pants for the holidays.

And finally, there's "Loafer." Both the type of shoe the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer is, and the type of man I, who will soon be wearing a pair of Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafers, am too.

There are some cooooool cats over at Substance Jewelry making these Desert Futuristic Rings - which, IIRC, were called Dune Futuristic Rings up until the movie came out, at which point someone probably started whining about copyright, and these independent artists making a fractional amount of money off their intellectual property.

Anyway, the abstract, futuristic shapes of the Desert / Dune rings are all intended to house a "hidden energy core" unique to Substance in both design and execution. Expressed as honeycombed interiors, the idea conjures alternate universes and faraway planets, perhaps dystopian or post apocalyptic ones, where people hold supernatural abilities, or their very life force, in a ring that never leaves their finger.

A falcon, a dragonfly, and a hummingbird walk into a bar. Actually, they slice into a bar. A big fat Snickers bar. And the Falcon, the Dragonfly, and the Hummingbird, all members of TITANER's Titanium Folding Pocket Knife, either eliminate its wrapper so you can chow on down, or cut the Snickers in half because your wife insists on sharing, and you know she'll eat more than her fair share if you try passing it back and forth.

Two notches on a baseball hat equals one notch on Notch's belt for ending the war between sunglasses and billed caps. Notch sunglasses-friendly hats have patented cutouts on either side of their bills that enable them to slip over sunglasses frames comfortably, and without requiring constant adjustment of one accessory or the other.