Things That Make You Go Mmm: 19 Food Gifts for 2021
My 19-course collection of food gifts for 2021 isn't just a meal of highfalutin foods for foodies, it's a meal of things that make you go Mmm even if you're just a normal human being who likes to consume food. Or cook with it. Or, in the case of Pampshade lamps made from real baked bread, decorate your house with it. Bon Appetit.
Note: All 19 food and foodie gifts are priced as they were at printing on November 19, 2021. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Grow 'n' Serve Microgreen Kits
Vegetarians, health nuts, and foodies, wanna buy some drugs! Green drugs. No, make that DIY green drugs. These Grow 'n' Serve Microgreen Kits will bring joy to the hearts of many a personality on your gift lift this year. The kits come with a planting tray, a choice of nutrient-dense and Instagram-ready greens seeds, and premeasured soil for planting. Time lapse from tilling to snipping the sprouted microgreens is just 10 days.
Dalstrong Shadow Black Series Kitchen Knives
As if kitchen knives weren't intimidating enough on their own, Dalstrong created their Shadow Black Series of kitchen knives. So now I can pair what they call a "menacing design" with the high probability that I will slice through my finger along with my damn roly-poly radishes, or cleave it off entirely when my wife asks me to break down a chicken.
Fire Syrup - Jalapeno Infused Syrup
The makers of Fire Syrup, a jalapeno-infused sweetener and flavor kicker upper, call their creation "A sweet, hot squirt of genius with 104 uses!"
Bet they stole that line from the catalogue at a sperm bank.
Fire Syrup is drizzle-ready for any food or drink that needs some sweet heat to take it to the next level, or just make it memorable. Think fried chicken. Lemonade and margaritas. Grilled peaches and dense chocolate brownies. Mmmm, Fire-Syrup-slathered pancakes and bacon. It's also gift-ready for anyone who, like itself, is hot, but sweet, but hot.
New England Hot Dog Bun Pan
Am I the only one who's never heard of a New England hot dog bun, and therefore a New England Hot Dog Bun Pan? WTF is this? It looks like vertically challenged bread, or angel food cake someone flipped over too early after it came out of the oven. I know New Englanders like to deviate from well-established standards (Fluffernutter sandwich, anyone?) but an inside-out hot dog bun - or I guess it's more like an inside-out-and-inside bun? That's bananas! No. That's banana hot dogs!
Nixta Licor de Elote - Corn Liqueur
Liquid. Corn. Sounds like a joke to me. A real corny joke. But, hey, I hear Nixta Licor de Elote - that's Corn Liqueur for the non-Spanish speakers - is actually pretty tasty. I'd try it. Way before I'd try Scottish Beithir Fire 150-proof beer, anyway. Made from ancestral cacahuazintle maize, Nixta Licor de Elote is grown in the high valleys and foothills of the Nevado de Toluca volcano in Central Mexico.
Modernist Pizza - 3-Volume Pizza Cookbook & Bible
I don't know if Modernist Pizza will end up being the definitive guide to cooking, eating, finding the best, and dreaming nightly about pizza, but it's sure got research, travel, science, pedigree, and 1,708 pages on its side in the effort.
Modernist Pizza is written by Nathan Myhrvold and Francisco Migoya, authors of Modernist Cuisine: The Art and Science of Cooking, and a handful of other multi-volume Modernist bibles you may or may not have heard of. Myhrvold is a physicist, mathematician, inventor, photographer, and the former CTO of Microsoft. Migoya is an award-winning pastry chef and head of the Modernist Cuisine kitchen. Together they traveled the world, visiting over 250 pizzerias in search of both the best pizza and pizza recipes, and an encyclopedia's worth of information on America's favorite food.
Taco Holder Butt Plug
Grab a Taco Holder Butt Plug and run for the b...ack door. I should be all Borat "I excite! I excite!" about Etsy shop Glow F**k Yourself's fetish toys - sex and tacos might be my two favorite things on Earth. But somehow a Taco Holder Butt Plug resonates as an unhappy paradox for me. Like how combining two really awesome things can sometimes make the result one of the worst, rather than one of the best, things ever. Flip-flops and skiing, for example. Mustard and ice cream. Your wife and your girlfriend.
Fly By Jing Sichuan Chili Crisp
Open your mind - and numb your mouth - to the hot umami bomb that is Fly By Jing Sichuan Chili Crisp. Made in Chengdu by Sichuan chef Jing Gao, this condiment is an oil-based cornucopia of flavor and texture they say is good on everything from dumplings and dandan noodles to eggs and ice cream. Hmmm. I'll go, yum, yum, yum, and ewww.
Pampshade Real Bread Lamps
That croissant is lit! Both literally, because it is a Pampshade Bread Lamp filled with LEDs, and figuratively because every Pampshade Croissant is handmade into a lamp from a real, edible croissant. One that, just as impressively, designer Yukiko Morita and her team bake themselves.
Pampshade Bread Lamps come in a variety of styles, from baguettes to boules, coupes to toast, and they all wow with the same basic ingredients and innovative builds. Bread flour, cake flour, salt, and yeast kick off the process - a complex one in and of itself - of creating the breads Pampshade will transform into lighting.
Runamok Maple Sparkle Syrup
Ooooh, Runamok's Maple Sparkle Syrup is definitely on the list of magical goos Glinda the Good Witch and a unicorn would make during their Zoom cooking sessions together. And then the Wicked Witch of the West and Smaug would tear through their houses - maskless, I'm sure - and steal it all as Sarah Jessica Parker from Hocus Pocus stood by yelling, Amok, amok, amok! Sorry, kids, no glitter pancakes or waffles for you.
Reese's Peanut Butter Ugly Sweater Candy
The Reese's Peanut Butter Ugly Sweater candy is a 2021 holiday exclusive from Hershey's. And while I am in the minority of people who do not like the saccharine chocolate and dry, chalky peanut butter comprising Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I do love me some ugly Christmas sweaters, so if my mama included a Reese's Peanut Butter Ugly Sweater in my stocking this year, I wouldn't necessarily throw it into the Do Not Want Pile like I do every gift I ever get from my Aunt Jan.
Toast-it Cork Coasters
Toast for your toasts! And so that you don't F up the table. Toast-it Coasters are a set of 8 cork drink pedestals packaged - and you thought the cleverness couldn't get any more intense - like a loaf. A loaf...
...of toast. Guess there's some disconnect in the wordplay and design there. A loaf of bread, but coasters of toast. Maybe they get browned in the BALMUDA while you're pouring your drinks.
Skittles and Starburst and SweetTarts, oh my! Skittles and Starburst and SweetTarts, freeze-dried! Stellar Rabbit Foods has the stellar down indeed with their collection of freeze-dried candy. The magic of sugary fan faves meets the magic of chemistry in a process SR Foods says "allows us to transform once chewy candies into an airy, light, crunchy and melt in your mouth texture."
Amish Country Microwave Popcorn on the Cob
This Amish Country Microwave Popcorn on the Cob makes me feel just like I did when I saw the New England Hot Dog Bun Pan. ... ... Did you know you can pop popcorn right off the cob?! That there exists such a thing as corn cob microwave popcorn?! If you did not know, you can join me on Team This Dude.
If you did know, head over to Team Amish Country.
Bonne Maman Fruit Spread & Honey Advent Calendar
"Bonne Maman" translates to "Good ol' Mama," and if my mama got me a 2021 Bonne Maman Fruit Spread & Honey Advent Calendar, I'd tell her she's a good ol' mama indeed.
Jam and honey in an advent calendar is better than chocolate in my opinion, because I get enough chocolate at Halloween. Especially when I tell my wife we ran out of candy because the trick-or-treaters were greedy this year, but really I've hidden 2 whole bags of Twix fun-size in my Pirate Treasure Chest.
A Bonne Maman Fruit Spread & Honey Advent Calendar also gives me the opportunity to say, "Bitch better have my honey!" as I pull open one of its cardboard doors, every day for 24 days straight.
Foodheim: A Culinary Adventure
Foodheim: A Culinary Adventure author Eric Wareheim is an actor, director, winemaker, and foodie. But you might know him best as Arnold, Dev's giant "token white friend" in Master of None, who develops a fondness for a robotic seal left behind by his deceased grandfather, and gets a Fiat wedged between two buildings while driving in Tuscany.
But in Foodheim, Wareheim plays the role of world tour guide. At least, world tour guide with exactly two things on the agenda during his world tour: food & drink. Part cookbook, part culinary storybook, and part critical review of the 3 major food groups (circle foods, grandma foods, and juicy foods), Foodheim reads as a chronicle of Wareheim's gustatory experiences, and makes a great gift for anyone who, like him, lives to eat.
Global Grub DIY Food Kits
Global Grub is here to help adventurous cooks and the people who love to eat their masterpieces "explore new tastes and techniques in [the] kitchen." A great gift for foodies this holiday season, Global Grub DIY Food Kits contain detailed instructions and the major ingredients and tools required to make some of the most beloved, but also most intimidating, treats from around the world.
Edible Food Crayons Seasonings & Condiments
Edible Crayons? Edible Crayons?! Everything my mama taught me as a kid - namely, what she taught me not to eat - is going out the window. Joining Edible Birthday Candles and Edible Printer Paper, we now have Food Crayons, creative seasonings and condiments for "coloring" dishes and drinks packed into everyone's favorite childhood (and adult!) coloring tool.
Developed by daughter / son / mama Nadia, Kamil, and Veronique as a family affair, Food Crayons come in a range of different flavor combinations, ready for shaving atop compatible foods and cocktails. Pictured above is Tomato & Thyme. Other Food Crayons I'd be down for eating up include Grapefruit & Timut Pepper, Curry & Turmeric, Raspberry & Balsamic, and Mushroom.
Bricknic Modular Campfire & BBQ Cooking Bricks
Bricknic modular cooking bricks have many qualities I would endorse, but the coolest thing about these clay culinary tools is that you can fill them up, stack them up, and fire them up to build your own brick oven. Whose individual bricks are filled with your food!