How Not to Be Helpful
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- Thought Provoking Questions To Answer While You Poop - $9.99
- You've Goat This: Wisdom to Get You Through the Good, the Baaad, and Everything in Between - $16.19
I don't think many people really need JJ Harlan's How Not to Be Helpful: An Illustrated Guide for Thoughtless Adults. With the exception of my mama and, like, Keanu Reeves, most of us have already got it down pat. But since the thoughtless are also usually self-absorbed and not very self-aware, it could just be fun reading about ourselves.
And then either: A) justifying those of Harlan's illustrated examples of thoughtless adults that apply to us; or B) thinking about how none of them apply to us at all, but definitely do to other people we know who regularly commit thoughtless offenses against us.
Some examples of How Not to Be Helpful include:
- Not giving up your seat on public transit for an elderly person "so they have the chance to strengthen their leg muscles."
- Mowing your lawn at 6 a.m. on a Saturday "so your neighbors can wake up to the smell of freshly cut grass."
- Not flushing the toilet after dropping a deuce in a public restroom, presumably to conserve water.
- Leaving a server a note with a helpful tip written on it instead of a monetary tip, because the latter will disappear once s/he's spent it (probably on booze and cigarettes) but the former will last forever.
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