DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kit
I was all about these DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kits until I saw the last image in the gallery above. The one that shows how it arrives. As cardboard cutouts you have to punch out and assemble yourself. Pssshhh! I don't have, or care much for, kids, and believe parents bring any hardships of making them happy upon themselves, but even I wouldn't wish a kid setting their sights on a DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kit on any mom or dad out there.
OK, yes, the product description does note that the kids the costume is intended for - those 6 and up - can construct their T-Rex, Triceratops, or Stegosaurus themselves using "simple picture instructions." But you know that's just code for, "Hope ye parental units have set aside your Saturday to build your kid a cosplay dinosaur with fully articulated legs and moving jaws that will encourage them to make roaring sounds around the house."
Now the best part about the DinoSuit Wearable Fossil Kits is that since they are made of cardboard, they probably aren't very durable, and you'll only have to deal with Kenny the T-Rex trying to use a nylon operation line to steal snacks and battle the dog for 3 to 4 wears.
Then again, that also may be the worst part about the kits, given they'll cost you hours of your time to put together, and a whopping 70 buckaroos.
Mini Museum - Portable Curiosities Collection
It's not an oompa loompa, but a portable plaque of specimens ranging from a thread of circa 350 BC Egyptian mummy wrap to a sliver of T-Rex tooth is still rad enough for me to whine, "Mama! I want a Mini Museum! I want...
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Life-Size T-Rex Skeleton
I wonder if this Life-Size T-Rex Skeleton for $100,000 really exists, or if some paleontologist is just pretty sure s/he can build one if a T-Rex-loving sucker loves T-Rex enough to fork over $100,000 for a life size...
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Enviroskulls
The T-Rex, Dragon, and Swamp Monster Enviroskulls might eat you, but at least you can rest assured they're not here to destroy the planet. Enviroskulls is a nonprofit, non-commercial organization that creates dazzling...
/real-partial-t-rex-skeleton-22619.jpg "Real Partial T-Rex Skeleton")
Real Partial T-Rex Skeleton
Meet Roosevelt. Your new pet T-Rex. Sure, he passed away a little while ago, and his remains have kinda been Frankensteined together from 3 different specimens, and his skeleton and skull are still only about 45% complete--oh...
Meteorite & Dinosaur Bone Rings
If your special someone is really that special, you won't just give them a ring, you'll give them a ring from a bazillion years ago! A ring that symbolizes how grand, vast, and enduring your love is. A ring that proves...
Inflatable Dinosaur Costume
Giddyup, T-Rex! While I'm not so sure about the proportions of this inflatable dinosaur costume, what it lacks in mathematical accuracy it definitely makes up for in costume originality. Now riding into your Halloween...
/life-size-baby-t-rex-costume-8760.jpg?mode=crop "Life-Size Baby T-Rex Costume")
Life-Size Baby T-Rex Costume
Sometimes babies are born with disproportionately large body parts, which they subsequently grow into. Like dog paws and human eyes. No such luck for the baby T-Rex. Looks as if those little guys are stuck with midget...
Dino Pet Bioluminescent Night Light
Oh boy, it's like a dinosaur mixed with a firefly mixed with that neat-o photosynthesis word I learned in middle school. Dino Pet, a compilation of living, bioluminescent organisms called dinoflagellates housed in an...
3D Printed Dickasaurus (NSFW)
Sex toy, trophy for a dude who's a real T-Rex in the bedroom, (literal) gag gift, the 3D Printed Dickasaurus will serve you well as any of these. But me, I bought a 3D Printed Dickasaurus to leave anonymously for my boss...
Raptor Dog Costume
Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying...
Gardenzilla - Rampaging Kaiju Garden Gnome
Praying mantises and ladybugs are heralded for their ability to rid gardens of many common pests, but in my experience they're utterly useless when it comes to eradicating the front yard of smug, chubby, razor-phobic...
/3d-printed-vaginasaur-nsfw-51636.jpg?mode=crop "3D Printed Vaginasaur (NSFW)")
3D Printed Vaginasaur (NSFW)
Be careful, the 3D Printed Vaginasaur definitely eats meat. Etsy shop 10th Dimension 3D calls this prehistoric poon print the "Dino Pussy" and the "Cuntasaurus," but I feel like "Vaginasaur" rolls off the tongue best...