Solar System Suckers
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- Mustache Lollipop - $7.28
- Dicky Licky Penis Lollipops - $24.10
- Marvel Heroes Pop Rocks - $21.99
- Pirate Skull Lollipops - $5.99
- Rainbow Cross Lollipops - $5.95
The scientific community may have dogged Pluto, but these Solar System Suckers are paying the little outcast the homage he deserves. My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas, plus the Sun, all hold a place in the 10-strong collection of lollipop planets with black backs flecked in edible glitter to simulate stars. I know you're all wondering what Uranus tastes like, and though my immediate guess, despite its distance from us, was "earthy", candy virtuosos Vintage Confections actually allow buyers to choose their desired sucker essence from a list of about 50. In addition to standard fruit flavors, lollipops also come in more exotic taste bud perkers such as Cheesecake, Cinnamon Roll, Sea Salted Caramel, Pumpkin, Mint Chocolate Chip, Root Beer, and Eggnog. Check out the full list of flavors on Vintage Confections' FAQ page.
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto--or, as Zack Morris called them on the infamous quiz show episode of Saved By the Bell, "MuvemJuhsunp"--sit atop 4-1/2" white paper sticks and arrive individually wrapped and sealed.
/the-big-bang-pistol-set-32456.jpg?mode=crop "The Big Bang Pistol Set")
The Big Bang Pistol Set
Cabot Guns has forged a few big bangs into its Big Bang Pistol set. The matched left and right pair of 1911s aren't just two of a kind, the only two Cabot has and will ever build (bang!), they're two of a kind made entirely...
Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear
If you liked Black Milk Clothing's Galaxy Purple Leggings, take a gander at Portland, Oregon-based Make It Good's Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear. Available in both women's bikini cuts and men's boxer briefs the black...
/bulk-single-flavor-candy-16073.jpg "Bulk Single Flavor Candy")
Bulk Single Flavor Candy
Mama! I said I only want the Cherry Starburst! Only the Cherries! Ahhh, just remembering the days when my mama had to toil over picking out all the good Starburst, Skittles, and Tootsie Pop flavors for me. The days before...
Internal Fire Glass Vortex Spheres
Loooook into my orb. No really, check out a GIF of one of these Internal Fire Glass vortex spheres. The optical illusion is super trippy. And super... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Glass artist Scott Pernicka handcrafts...
Peanut Butter Cup Cake
A gargantuan mail-order Peanut Butter Cup Cake, stacked with double layers of rich chocolate devil's food hugging real peanut butter filling, and then drowned in a dark chocolate shell, is the reason acronyms like OMFG...
/moon-planet-lights-26813.jpg?mode=crop "Moon & Planet Lamps")
Moon & Planet Lamps
Sleep under the light of the moon even on stormy nights, and enjoy the orange blaze of Jupiter without making futile attempts to go to Jupiter with one of these sweet spherical lamps from Pulsar Moonlight. Each is a unique...
Galactic Republic Passport
Many of us used to think travel to and within the Galactic Republic was impossible due to its being make believe. But now we all know the truth that real Star Wars fans have always known: up until 2010, the Intergalactic...
Solar System in a Bottle
While Little Planet Factory, like science, has also shunned Pluto as a planet in its Solar System in a Bottle, I think they make up for it by having crafted and calibrated the 8 remaining MVEMJSUN to scale. At 1:5,000,000,000...
9 Planets Ring with Spinning Meteorite Band
Why should ladies and rappers get all the fancy jewelry? John Biagiotti of Metamorphosis Design believes men should be able to get in on the expensive gifts and signs of baller status too. Men like you and me. Men who...
Milk & Cookies Shots
Now that the Cookie Monster has had his fling with Siri, maybe he can engage the services of Alexa to order him a dozen...or 8 dozen...of Dirty Cookie's Milk & Cookie Shots. I can't wait to see what he gets up to while...
Planetary Glass Set
On top of their sweet swirly interpretations of what our solar system would look like if it were made of heat-wrapped glass and sized for juice drinking and candle burning, two things are cool about ThinkGeek's Planetary...
/tasteful-giving-the-best-41514.jpg?mode=crop "Tasteful Giving: The Best Food Gifts")
Tasteful Giving: The Best Food Gifts
The gobble, gobble of the holiday season is in full swing! But if you would, take a quick pause from stuffing your own piehole to consider how you might win this year's gift exchange by stuffing the pieholes of others...