Mythical Meats Humanoid Snack Sticks
Ever want to sink your teeth into some mermaid tail? Well, have at it, dudes. Just don't go looking for flavors of Ariel or Daryl Hannah in your box of Mythical Meats Humanoid Snack Sticks - no mythical creatures were harmed in the drying and dehydration of these high-protein treats.
Just pigs, cows, chickens, and a camel or two.
No joke about the camels. The Centaur Snack Stick is made of smoked beef and camel. Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that either. A Sweet Pepper Turkey Elf, or even an Andouille Yak and Beef Smoked Yeti sit better on my conscience.
Probably in my GI tract too.
Mythical Meats Humanoid Snack Sticks come in a sampler pack of "10 enchanted flavors." Other jerky-fied beasts include the leprechaun, the Werewolf, the Minotaur, the Centaur, the Troll, the Gremlin, the Leprechaun, and Bigfoot.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/beef-jerky-flowers-25528.jpg "Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets")
Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets
Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...
Edible Dehydrated Zebra Tarantula
What's that you're eating? Antelope jerky? Pssshh! Amateur. Real men, men with balls as big as their 3 p.m. snack cravings, eat dehydrated zebra tarantulas. Straight from the can...
Beef Jerky Gun
Which came first, the Weston Jerky Gun or the Sushi Bazooka? Squirted meat or squirted fish and rice? Conundrum, conundrum, we may never know. But, praise be to Zeus, like chickens and eggs, my stomach approves with fervor...
/meathearts-47652.jpg?mode=crop "Meathearts")
Meathearts
Sweetheart, have a Meatheart. Meathearts are the Conversation Hearts of beef jerky! The beef jerky of Conversation Hearts! And that's no hyperbole!...
/wild-game-jerky-sampler-pack-8111.jpg?mode=crop "Wild Game Jerky Sampler Pack")
Wild Game Jerky Sampler Pack
Gators and ostrich and bears, oh my...dayum! Giving bacon gift boxes and Broquets a possible run for their money this Father's Day: Buffalo Bob's Wild Game Jerky. The sampler pack...
/exotic-predator-jerky-gift-24995.jpg?mode=crop "Exotic Predator Jerky Gift Pack")
Exotic Predator Jerky Gift Pack
Now this is the kind of snake bite I'll take any day: the one where I'm on the delivering end, and the python recipient is covered in teriyaki sauce, kissed with brown sugar, and dried with a touch of liquid smoke. The...
/cherkees-beef-jerky-potato-13845.jpg?mode=crop "Cherkees - Real Beef Jerky Potato Chips")
Cherkees - Real Beef Jerky Potato Chips
Cherkees. They're not just potatoes deep fried in liquid smoke. These are straight up hybrids. Interminglings of gene pools. Culinary mutts of joy. Mr. Potato Head eating a fat T-bone steak. Cherkees entwine real potatoes...
Ayoba-Yo Biltong Beef Snacks
Ayoba-Yo makes Biltong. And if saying so sounds like I'm speaking in a foreign tongue, it's because I a little bit am. Both "ayoba" and "Biltong" are words more commonly heard in South Africa. The former, at least as...
Whiskey Beef Jerky
Usually if beef jerky burns as it travels down my throat it's because I bit off a fat hunk and didn't chew it enough and the burn is due to an oversized mass of dehydrated meat threatening to puncture my esophagus as...
Country Archer Natural Meat Snacks
Country Archer makes meat snacks for those of us who are done with dry, brittle jerky that tastes like nothing but fake smoke and salt, and feels like it's going to puncture our gut when we swallow it. And also for those...
/build-your-own-conspiracy-62193.jpg?mode=crop "Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory Kit")
Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory Kit
Aha! A Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory Kit. I was wondering where Reddit, TikTok, Fox News, and people addicted to goop and yoga got all their ideas, and this 451-strong set of magnetic tiles anyone can string together...
Nessie Ladle
She waits. She lurks. She stalks. And then suddenly, out of the depths of my 8-quart stock pot, Nessie emerges. Oh the terror! The foreboding doom! The...hey, what's the Loch Ness Monster got in tow there? Is that a ladle...