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ChickenStone - Roast a Whole Bird in Half the Time

Posted: June 23, 2021
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Um. Are you sure, ChickenStone, you wouldn't rather be called CockStone? I mean, I know I'm immature and all, but what human person could consider the ChickenStone's function - to roast a whole bird 50% faster than normal, while infusing the meat with herbs and other aromatics - without also considering what it looks like. A great big peen.

The ChickenStone is a follow-up to creator Slavisa Trtic-Trle's TurkeyStone, which, as you can imagine, he made to reduce the cooking time and enhance the flavor of a turkey. As you can also imagine, it too makes any turkey it's paired with look like it's sporting an erect penis.

When not inserted into a chicken, the ChickenStone looks kind of like a penis, but also kind of like a helicopter. It's presentable. But if you're looking for ways to host a better dinner party, putting roast chicken on the menu, and using a ChickenStone to cook it will only get you there if you carve up the bird in the kitchen. Or at least get the one-eyed willy out of its butt before putting it on the table in front of your guests.

For those curious how the ChickenStone does its magic, it's thanks to its ceramic construction and thermal conduction. The stone inside the bird will itself heat up quickly, becoming a new internal heat source to pair with your oven's or grill's external efforts. The heat from the ChickenStone also helps distribute the flavor or any herbs or spices you've packed inside it, and the moisture from beer, sake, wine, or other liquids it turns to steam.

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