Alien Abduction Lamp

Posted: March 27, 2012
Alien Abduction Lamp
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When I see alien abduction images like this lamp's they make me think of one thing: Cartman gets an anal probe. Ugh, poor cow. Well, maybe not. I mean, really, whatever fate lies ahead for him on that spaceship can't be any worse than the captive bolt pistol awaiting him when Farmer Brown gets a hankering for some brisket.

An MST3K-lover's dream come true, the Alien Abduction Lamp brings 50s-era B movies to life. In addition to the beaming-up Bessie, the table lamp's flying saucer also sports glow-in-the-dark little green men heads with bulbous eyes peeking out of each of its windows. It has 4 LED illumination settings: Off, Cockpit (pulsing light that phases through a green-and-yellow gradient), Beam (steady glow from the lamp's bottom), and All On. The abductor's vessel is made of steel, with a black-pearl finish, and the light beam of perspex. Bovine implementations are removable, in case buyers want to replace the cow with a figurine of the celebrity or politician they feel is most deserving of an anal probe.

The lamp's dimensions are approximately 9.1 x 10.9 x 9.1 inches. Though orders must be placed through third-party vendors, visit the Alien Abduction Lamp Website--replete with a 3D viewing option--for more fun and games with extra-terrestrials and cows.

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