Financial Padding Package Cushioning

Posted: January 29, 2012
Financial Padding Package Cushioning
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All those turkeys who ask you to send them money? Relatives, charities, Billy Graham, the IRS. For less than $20, you can now ship each one of them thousands. And since these dead presidents double as packing material, may as well add a plaster cast of your middle finger to the shipment as well. Financial Padding is a cushy alternative to foam packing peanuts, and a clever way to blast the package's recipient through the emotional spectrum of ecstatic to crushed in 10 seconds flat. The effect works especially well on children 12 and under. Banknotes come in sets of 200, and arrive flat. To use, simply crumple the bills and pack them around light to medium weight shipments. Financial Padding is reusable, recyclable, and biodegradable. Please do not attempt to use it as real cash. Unless dealing with someone who is both indisputably ignorant, and an indisputable asshole.

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