Fleece Fitted Mattress Cover

Posted: September 20, 2022
Fleece Fitted Mattress Cover
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Wow. You gotta be one cold woman to want to sleep on top of a mattress cover made of fleece. I'm not talking cold in the soul like my ex-girlfriend Karen. I'm talking cold in the toes that feel like ice cubes in a torture chamber when they touch me like my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power.

And to be clear, I am singling out the ladies only in this cold analogy because I have never, ever met a dude who wouldn't agree with me on this: I love me some succulent medium-rare roasted lamb about as much as anything on this green earth, but put me on top of a lamb's wool fitted mattress cover, and I'm gonna be the one roasting, decidedly un-succulent, and very well-done.

The Japanese makers of this Fleece Fitted Mattress Cover describe its feel as "lamb velvet fabric," and while I'd go with "furnace" instead, if you're moving to Denali or Antarctica, maybe you'd like to take one along.

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