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Dog Harness Hammock for Nail Trimming

Posted: October 22, 2021
Dog Harness Hammock for Nail Trimming
$20.06 - $22.85
from
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I'm sure this Dog Harness Hammock is very useful for nail trimming and other grooming tasks, maybe administering medicine or shoving pills down your dog's throat too. Any pet endeavor that requires your dog to remain relatively still, in one place, and easily accessible to you. It's got the same perfectly practical application as The Baby Hanger.

And also like The Baby Hanger, the Dog Harness Hammock has me laughing like a hyena every time I look at it, and saying to myself, "You poor bastard. What did they do to you?" I mean, what are these dogs even hanging from in the promo photos? A curtain rod? If I put my cat Zanzibar in a Dog Harness Hammock with the intention of trimming his nails (and that thought alone - cat, hammock, nail trimming - shudder, is going to give me nightmares) and then hung him from one of our curtain rods, I could hardly even reach him, much less be able to hold him steady and complete a nail-cutting job that requires surgeon-level precision.

Hanging a dog in a Dog Harness Hammock from a curtain rod can't possibly provide anything by entertainment value. Cruel, evil entertainment value, you TikTok whores!

And where else are you going to hang this thing? Your closet? Hope you like finding surprise animal toenail clippings in your pockets. A shower rod? As long as Kiwi doesn't weigh more than 5 pounds, I guess. Maybe you can mount some special hooks in a wall or ceiling. Some designated Dangling Dog Hooks.

So. Ready to buy a Dog Harness Hammock? They come in multiple sizes and colors, and look super soft and cozy, like a bathrobe. ... A bathrobe your dog will run in fear and flatten himself under the couch to get away from every time you bring it out.

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