Autoblow Decoy Safe

Posted: October 29, 2021
Autoblow Decoy Safe
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Funny, functional, dare I say Autoblow's take on the decoy safe is ingenious? Dirty Santa is lickin' his chops for this season's gift exchange.

In case you're still puzzling over this latest place to stash your valuables, the Autoblow Decoy Safe is a safe disguised to look like a male masturbator. One that really exists too! The Autoblow AI is a literal blowjob machine that provides 10 unique "blowjob experiences," modeled after real-life techniques, and administered by artificial intelligence. The decoy safe version looks just like its automatic chicken choker counterpart, but where the latter has an interchangeable silicone sleeve and heavy-duty, ultra-powerful metal motor, the Autoblow Decoy Safe has a roomy empty space for storing cash, jewelry, passports, and weed. And, I have to agree with Autoblow when they say, "The last place a burglar will ever look is inside of your lube covered Autoblow AI."

Yeah, I'm going all in on my earlier assessment: Autoblow Decoy Safe, definitely ingenious.

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