Maze Door Chain Lock
/645.jpg "Maze Door Chain Lock")
Equally adept at keeping your more retarded friends locked in as getting them all killed in a fire, the Defendius Labyrinth Security Lock is a pretty cool concept. Wouldn't this be better for impeding entry to keep all of your smelly friends out?
/marbolous-modern-mechanical-54586.jpg?mode=crop "MARBOLOUS Modern, Mechanical Marble Track")
MARBOLOUS Modern, Mechanical Marble Track
You. Look. MARBOLOUS! MARBOLOUS, indeed, you mesmerizing marble track going all kinetic with your artfulness on my desktop. The MARBOLOUS marble track is an ode to the popular childhood toy that German BFFs Baffy and...
/kwikset-killer-key-21880.jpg "The Killer Key")
The Killer Key
The Killer Key is for law enforcement officials, landlords with squatters or evicted tenants, and pranksters who thrive on taking things one step too far. See, the key blade inserts into any Kwikset or Schlage brand lock...
TIHK - Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key
The Tiny Inconspicuous Handcuff Key is intended for use by trained law enforcement, military, and security professionals only. However, TIHK will sell a pair of them to anyone with a credit card and $13. Because that...
The Run Lock
When I run...ha! This entry is already full of lies. The last time I ran I think I was 8 and the ice cream truck was about to get away before I ordered my pink sherbet foot with the gumball toenail! So let me start again...
/havenshield-door-barricade-40891.jpg?mode=crop "Havenshield Door Barricade")
Havenshield Door Barricade
The Havenshield Door Barricade is a home security device for quickly blocking interior access to intruders. It installs over any standard door in your home (or office or classroom) like a wreath. Not exactly a bearer...
/nfc-programmable-smart-ring-31165.jpg "NFC Programmable Smart Ring")
NFC Programmable Smart Ring
At this point you could put a different type of smart ring on every one of your fingers if you wanted. The NFC Ring is a programmable piece of smart jewelry you can wave around powerful wizard- or dismissive CEO-style...
Add-A-Lock Portable Door Lock
The Add-A-Lock does one better than the portable intruder alarm: it won't just alert you when your one night stand tries to sneak back into your bedroom to sucker you into a committed, long-term relationship during which...
/light-bulb-fan-pull-chains-53972.jpg?mode=crop "Light Bulb & Fan Pull Chains for Ceiling Fans")
Light Bulb & Fan Pull Chains for Ceiling Fans
I'm not gonna be a wet blanket and diss these Light Bulb & Fan Pull Chains for ceiling fans because it's really not that hard to look up and figure out which cord controls the light and which cord the fan. Nope. No wet...
/steel-self-defense-bracelet-28571.jpg "Steel Self Defense Bracelet")
Steel Self Defense Bracelet
Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way...
/diy-hidden-door-hinge-system-14914.jpg?mode=crop "DIY Hidden Door Hinge System")
DIY Hidden Door Hinge System
Ooh, a hidden door to a boudoir of lingerie and sex toys? Maybe pretending to be interested in books wasn't the worst, most boring mistake I ever made to get a girl to like me after all. Yeah, babe, I do see your first...
Titanium Lock Picking Card
Not that I'm one to break and enter, but...I could be if I had ITS Tactical's Titanium Entry Card. Made of aircraft grade titanium, the 0.032" thick "emergency" lock pick tool set fits just as easily into wallets as it...
The Knee Defender
Ye of long legs, take note: though the Knee Defender can't increase the amount of space you have within your sphere of airplane seat misery, it can prevent further reduction of the already minimal square footage. Comprised...