Shark Repellent Grenade

Posted: August 10, 2014
Shark Repellent Grenade

Surfers, SCUBA divers, mermaids, and baby seals now have a means of deterring the Ultimate Dread. Thwarting the very reason some break a sweat at the mere mention of the ocean. These here grenades contain a highly calibrated concoction of science known as shark repellent. Latch one to your life vest, swimsuit, or other water gear and they'll emit a scent that's not just unappealing to the great predators of the sea, but that instills fear in their hearts. (I know sharks don't have bones, but they have hearts, right?)

Shark Repellent Grenade maker Rut Grenade uses a swell Kafka quote to encapsulate the value of their product: "Better to have, and not need, than to need, and not have." Then again, here's another quote from the death dealer deterrers: "We are in no way liable if you are hurt or killed by a shark."

The grenades have been designed to scare off sharks through scent. While Rut Grenade does not detail what exactly they pour into this Eau de Terror, the company does note that its intent is to establish a fear of humans that will last for the entire life of any shark that smells it. The repellent is non-lethal, and its results instant. Each grenade's effects last up to 36 hours.

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