Barbie Swimsuit
You know what I thought when I saw this Barbie Swimsuit? The same thing you dudes and ladies probably thought: Come on, Barbie, let's go party / Come on, Barbie, let's go party. Followed immediately by a daydream of Margot Robbie wearing the Barbie Swimsuit and splashing around in a pool. Maybe sliding down one of Splinterworks' sick pool slides. Weeee!
Too bad I can't find any swim trunks with "Ken" across the crotch on Etsy too. Nope, don't bother, I'm serious that I tried typing "Ken swim trunks" into the site's search engine, and all of the results were handmade swim trunks for the doll-sized Ken.
This Bubblegum Pink Barbie Swimsuit, though, that's an easy find. Really it's just a cheap one-piece custom-printed with the word "Barbie" in some approximation of Mattel's iconic cursive font, but that's enough for me. And hopefully enough for a hot gift for your girlfriend as we ease into summer.
If pink isn't her (or your) thing, the Barbie Swimsuit also comes in white, black, red, or blue, as well as sizes for all of the ladies out there (i.e., 99.99999% of the ladies out there) who aren't Barbie-sized (i.e., they're healthy and human).
Grand Portico Mansion Playhouse
Who's your Daddy...Warbucks? Better call him if you want the Grand Portico playmansion erected in your back yard, Suzy Q, because this definition of a spoiled child is gonna cost a whole helluva lot more than the Barbie...
/barbie-ken-in-a-box-couples-56289.jpg?mode=crop "Barbie & Ken in a Box Couples' Costumes")
Barbie & Ken in a Box Couples' Costumes
And if you need the other half of this Barbie & Ken in a Box Couples' Costumes, go ahead and at Margot Robbie or Ryan Gosling to see if they're down...
/shocked-trump-swinsuit-62314.jpg?mode=crop "Shocked Trump Swimsuit")
Shocked Trump Swimsuit
Ever thought the beach was missing a bit of... politics? Well, fear no more! The Donald Trump Swimsuit is here to fill that void. Imagine this: a one-piece swimsuit emblazoned with the larger-than-life, zoomed-in face...
/sharkini-swimsuit-8700.jpg?mode=crop "Sharkini Swimsuit")
Sharkini Swimsuit
Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...
The Batman Collection
Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...
Mass Effect Clothing
I know many of you are thinking it, so I'm just gonna put it on paper: the mass effect of Black Milk's Mass Effect body-hugging clothing collection is to effectively give every male fan of the video game series a massive...
/finfolk-custom-mermaid-tails-12616.jpg?mode=crop "Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails")
Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails
By what magnitude would the awesomeness of mud wrestling increase if all the ladies participating got to wear a Finfolk Productions 100% dragonskin and platinum cure silicone mermaid tail? Muddy, slippery, rolling on...
/the-tata-top-39533.jpg?mode=crop "The TaTa Top (NSFW)")
The TaTa Top (NSFW)
Where was the TaTa Top flesh-colored bikini with nipples when I was having fun with anatomical optical illusions a couple weeks ago? Guess I'll have to retroactively add this eye-(and pants-)popping swimsuit to my Breast...
/mens-one-piece-thanos-39341.jpg?mode=crop "Men's One-Piece Thanos Swimsuit")
Men's One-Piece Thanos Swimsuit
Thanos may finally get his wish of wiping out half the world's population if enough dudes don a men's one-piece Thanos swimsuit this summer. And I thought the ladies' version was disturbing. But I guess as the great Titan...
/pamela-anderson-x-frankies-60047.jpg?mode=crop "Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection")
Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection
The Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection drops at noon ET on May 4, 2023, and all I've got to say about this collaboration between the smokin' hot 55-year-old Baywatch star and the smokin' hot swimsuit brand...
/strange-silly-standout-38705.jpg?mode=crop "Strange, Silly & Standout Swimwear")
Strange, Silly & Standout Swimwear
My collection of strange, silly, and standout swimwear is for dudes and ladies who march to the beach of their own drum. Sun bums who aren't just ready for, but who crave the double-takes and ogles they'll get from everyone...
/printed-body-flowers-swimsuit-60734.jpg?mode=crop "Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit")
Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit
The Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit doesn't provide quite the same caliber of beach-ready optical illusion as the Sexy Chest Swimsuit, but at least this Jean Paul Gaultier design is more likely to make you drool than gag...