Denim Bikinis
You might look at these Denim Bikinis and think, "Hot." I, however, look at these Denim Bikinis and think, "Don't forget the Redneck Boot Sandals, ladies!" Don't get me wrong, I too find them...well, some of them...reasonably attractive, but compared to, like, almost any other bikini out there? I'll take a Bandage or an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot any day.
Also, if you've gotten your jeans soaked, you'll probably agree denim is not the most comfortable fabric to wear wet. Add sand to that equation? Ugh. On the bright side, the overseas makers of the Denim Bikinis (there are at least 10 styles to choose from) also recommend them for "night club performance" to "increase your charm." I'm not really sure why I described that as a "bright side." Guess I just wanted to clear some of the negative Denim Bikini energy I created by saying something nice.
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Jean Shorts Underwear
Nothing I could say would contribute any more to your perception of these jean shorts underwear than the pictured model with the girly figure and manly package. From that you can take away: 1) They're denim boxer briefs...
/denim-thong-underwear-59775.jpg?mode=crop "Denim Thong Underwear")
Denim Thong Underwear
I particularly like that the Denim Thong Underwear have the words, "Do what you love" printed on the right side of their wearer's crotch. Inspiration, and motivation, for ladies who might wonder if they should be having...
Saint Unbreakable Motorcycle Jeans
When Saint calls their motorcycle jeans "unbreakable," they mean it without jest or hyperbole. And they're willing to put their body weight, their belt grinder, their X-acto knife, and their brute force where their mouth...
/mens-faux-denim-pajama-pants-35985.jpg?mode=crop "Men's Faux Denim Pajama Pants")
Men's Faux Denim Pajama Pants
I found these faux denim pajama pants for all the men out there who need an outfit for Christmas morning that's equal parts cozy, stylin', and able to expand with all the cinnamon rolls and hunks of egg casserole they...
/duer-performance-denim-25077.jpg?mode=crop "DU/ER Performance Denim & No Sweat Pants")
DU/ER Performance Denim & No Sweat Pants
dish & DU/ER sent me a review pair of their N2X No Sweat Pants, and here's how I tested them out: I wore them to Thanksgiving dinner. Three plates and two pieces of apple pie...a la mode...later, I still didn't feel the...
/pando-moto-kevlar-lined-23742.jpg "Pando Moto Kevlar-Lined Motorcycle Jeans")
Pando Moto Kevlar-Lined Motorcycle Jeans
Like Pando Moto's Karl Desert motorcycle jeans? Their stylin' Cordura denim outer layer pairs with Coolmax technology to help keep you from sweating your balls off while riding, plus panels of Kevlar at key areas along...
/jean-shorts-swim-trunks-54949.jpg?mode=crop "Jean Shorts Swim Trunks")
Jean Shorts Swim Trunks
Cool off with some hot pants. Daisy Duke's got nothing on these Jean Shorts Swim Trunks. More like swim briefs, really, as the faux denim suit is ready to show off your sweet ass and your formidable junk with equal skin...
/giant-blue-jeans-sleeping-bag-31038.jpg?mode=crop "Giant Blue Jeans Sleeping Bag")
Giant Blue Jeans Sleeping Bag
This sleeping bag that looks like a giant pair of blue jeans, I don't know which part of their ludicrousness to tell you about first. OK, the obvious: this is a giant blue jeans sleeping bag (Ludicrous Part 1). It sleeps...
/sharkini-swimsuit-8700.jpg?mode=crop "Sharkini Swimsuit")
Sharkini Swimsuit
Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...
/the-tata-top-39533.jpg?mode=crop "The TaTa Top (NSFW)")
The TaTa Top (NSFW)
Where was the TaTa Top flesh-colored bikini with nipples when I was having fun with anatomical optical illusions a couple weeks ago? Guess I'll have to retroactively add this eye-(and pants-)popping swimsuit to my Breast...
/pamela-anderson-x-frankies-60047.jpg?mode=crop "Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection")
Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection
The Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection drops at noon ET on May 4, 2023, and all I've got to say about this collaboration between the smokin' hot 55-year-old Baywatch star and the smokin' hot swimsuit brand...
/strange-silly-standout-38705.jpg?mode=crop "Strange, Silly & Standout Swimwear")
Strange, Silly & Standout Swimwear
My collection of strange, silly, and standout swimwear is for dudes and ladies who march to the beach of their own drum. Sun bums who aren't just ready for, but who crave the double-takes and ogles they'll get from everyone...