Sriracha Boxer Briefs
/sriracha-boxer-briefs-4674.jpg "Sriracha Boxer Briefs")
- Sriracha iPhone Case - $19.95
- The Sriracha Cookbook: 50 "Rooster Sauce" Recipes - $11.55
- Bacon Hot Sauce - $11.45
- Spicy Sriracha Peas - $3.09
- Chicken Head Mask - $18.99
For those who claim to put Sriracha on everything, it's time to put your money where your mouth is. Introduce the rooster to the family jewels. Acquaint your two favorite hot cocks. Sriracha Boxer Briefs burn along backsides in the hot sauce's trademark fiery red, with a green-tipped bottle and the phrase, "Respect the hot cock" branded across the front. I hear dudes who wear them feel like 5 stars of hotness. Or maybe just that they feel 5 stars of hotness. Like up against their junk. Pair Sriracha Boxer Briefs with Romance Pants and take your sexy MFness from Warp to Ludicrous Speed.
Available in sizes Small through XL, the Sriracha theme was screen printed onto American Apparel brand underwear. Ladies' Sriracha briefs are also available in white, with a horizontal rooster sauce bottle, but I have to say, they look a little ill-fitting and androgynous. If I were a lady, I would hold out for the lacy ones.
Fundies: Underwear Built for Two
According to every woman's favorite book, The Five Love Languages, physical touch is the predominant type of love males enjoy receiving, while quality time earns high marks with the ladies. Fundies, a chic pair of tandem...
Cute Ass Animals Underwear
Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...
The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas (NSFW)
Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...
Shreddies Fart-Filtering Underwear
Leave it to the Brits to class up farts and poots. And also to create a solution that spares those who didn't just drop a silent stink bomb from inhaling the fumes released by the one who did. Shreddies is a line of men's...
/eletrunks-lifter-underwear-25033.jpg "Eletrunks \"Lifter\" Underwear")
Eletrunks "Lifter" Underwear
Though the above video is slightly NSFW, Eletrunks are not a dirty or obscene pair of underwear. At all. The company's demo of their functional, comfort-enhancing, package-adjusting Lifter cord just makes it look like...
/collapsible-middle-finger-62196.jpg?mode=crop "Collapsible Middle Finger")
Collapsible Middle Finger
The wind up F you is one you'll always have, er, on hand and all, but this Collapsible Middle Finger accessory will make an even bolder statement when used to pepper your gestures and enhance your communication skills...
Latex Bat Underwear
Warning: Abigail Greydanus' latex bat underwear are slightly NSFW. Probably both in terms of viewing enlarged photos of them, and physically wearing them at the office, as my experience with latex is that it is the textile...
Nerds with Vaginas Underwear
Did you get drunk and pee your pants last night? Did you throw your panties on stage during the New Year's Eve Super Diamond Neil Diamond cover band show? Did you sneak out of the bed you woke up in at 5:00 a.m. and leave...
Manties Men's Lace Boxers
Last month this a-hole at my office left a box of Edible Anus chocolates on my desk with a note that said, "I saw these and thought of your face." Now everyone at work calls me Buttmuncher. Like we're 12! So for next...
MyPakage Keyhole Comfort Underwear
While a keyhole connotes something very small into which one inserts something else very small...and then, uh, forcefully twists it 360 degrees clockwise or counterclockwise...I assure you that MyPakage underwear's KeyHole...
/the-ball-lifter-nsfw-19337.jpg?mode=crop "The Ball Lifter (NSFW)")
The Ball Lifter (NSFW)
I know what you're thinking: is that a push-up bra...for my balls? The answer is yes. The Ball Lifter was designed to lift and embellish your package without pumps, pills, or other male member enhancement quackery. It's...
Lace Skull & Crossbones Pants
Plea to All Women: I implore you to buy these pants. And wear them in my presence. White, lace, skulls. They're the trifecta of my fantasies. Throw in flowing, partially see-through, and looking to be very soft, and I...