The Chewbaccoat
/the-chewbaccoat-12917.jpg "The Chewbaccoat")
While it is abundantly clear that this image of naked Princess Leia draped in the hide of Chewbacca is just an illustration, looking at it still stirs up the strangest mix of revulsion and horniness within me. Chewbacca, grotesquely skinned and flattened into a no-longer-walking carpet?! A Chewbaccoat?! Anger and pain seize my heart. It's like Sansa Stark being forced by Joffrey to look at Ned's head on the stake. And this isn't even Game of Thrones pushing the boundaries of HBO! This is supposed to be art! So on the one hand: fail.
But on the other hand...Princess Leia looks hot. Really hot. Like, even as a digital print she looks better than real live Leia and also this human girl dressed as Leia posing on a Wampa rug, which somehow elicits none of the hisses and boos of poor taste from me that the Chewbaccoat does. That said, a word of advice to Leia herself: do not give this portrait to Han for Valentine's Day. No matter how rock hard and sultry its depiction of your abs is.
The sexy affront to Wookiees...and pretty much the entire Star Wars narrative...is available as a men's or women's T-Shirt, a mobile phone case, or a Giclee print on 100% cotton rag in sizes ranging from 8" x 10" to 24" x 36".
Reversible Chewbacca Hoodie
It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by...
/star-wars-face-masks-43963.jpg?mode=crop "Star Wars Face Masks")
Star Wars Face Masks
May the 4th be with you, and may the Rona be in a galaxy far, far away. This series of Star Wars face masks is from Ethical Addiction, made in honor of favorite franchise characters - from Chewbacca to Vader, Yoda (adult-size)...
/han-solo-chewbacca-reversible-12314.jpg "Han Solo-Chewbacca Reversible Hoodie")
Han Solo-Chewbacca Reversible Hoodie
Life has been very difficult for some since the Mark Ecko reversible Chewbacca hoodie sold out. It was pretty much the Star Wars garment to end all Star Wars garments. But I like this new alternative alright too. Maybe...
/millennium-falcon-schematic-19660.jpg "Millennium Falcon Blueprint LED Lamp")
Millennium Falcon Blueprint LED Lamp
Have you been searching for the perfect blueprint light? Me too. And wow. This 16-color LED desk lamp went with the Millennium Falcon as its subject! I thought I was going to be stuck with, like, the White House or some...
Second Skin Star Wars Suits
Costume Craze has released a whole line of Second Skin Star Wars suits for 2013, but I feel like if a man is going to put a definitive outline of the family jewels on display, the face of a Wookiee would complement them...
Star Wars Shooting Targets
Apparently, we're allowed to take aim only at the Dark Side. Sneaky Studios didn't design any of their Star Wars shooting targets with Luke or Han or Yoda behind the bullseye, which in a way cuts out an entire buyer demographic...
/lego-chewbacca-60974.jpg?mode=crop "LEGO Chewbacca")
LEGO Chewbacca
This is no LEGO Chewbacca minifig. This is LEGO Chewbacca in full, 2,319-piece, 18-inch glory. It's a whole LEGO set dedicated to the galaxy's favorite Wookiee, to be released on September 1, 2023 in honor of the 40th...
/may-the-4th-be-with-you-13-49273.jpg?mode=crop "May The 4th Be With You: 13 Star Wars Gifts for 2021")
May The 4th Be With You: 13 Star Wars Gifts for 2021
Star Wars Day has come again, and along with saying May the 4th be with you in 2021, I can also offer you this collection of 13 of the best Star Wars gifts the galaxy has afforded us in recent times. Hint: It's a lot...
Princess Leia Beanie
The Princess Leia Beanie is buns o' fun. Wah, wah. Well, what else can we say? Star Wars fans gotta like it by proxy, Stitch 'N' Bitch circle members gotta like it by definition, and girls gotta like it 'cause it's warm...
/the-best-han-solo-merchandise-33274.jpg?mode=crop "The Best Han Solo Merchandise")
The Best Han Solo Merchandise
Since Solo: A Star Wars Story sees its first nationwide screenings in theaters tonight, I figured I'd feed the Han mania - the Hania - by looking back at some of the best Han Solo-inspired merch we've seen over the past...
Chewbacca Bathrobe
Being able to ride au naturel beneath a fuzzy fleece Chewbacca bathrobe is quite possibly the only upshot to summer's ending and the agony of shit cold, rain, and darkness kicking off my foreseeable future. How snug and...
/star-wars-ugly-christmas-19850.jpg?mode=crop "Star Wars Ugly Christmas Sweaters")
Star Wars Ugly Christmas Sweaters
If Star Wars is on the Ugly Christmas Sweater scene now, I think we need to remove the "Ugly" modifier from the term. How about Star Wars Galactically Awesome Christmas Sweaters instead? Particularly the one spotlighting...