Slow Man Slip-On Sock Shoes

I wanna hold your hand...and play footsies...and be dressed to shoot hoops or compete in a track & field event at any moment, all from the knee down. Can anyone help me with that? Oh. Why, hello, Magnetic Holding Hands...

No, Sockdoms Scented Condom Socks were not designed for hygienically diddling someone with your foot like Lorals Latex Panties were designed for oral sex. Though I suppose you could wear a pair of Sockdoms if foot-diddling...

While I haven't tried Parasoles myself, I have seen the funky sock-shoes in action on another dude at my gym. He flippin'-tires loves them. Always tries to get me to try them on and see for myself, but uh, these so-called...

Skinners combine socks and the minimalist, barefoot shoe craze to form...Skinners Minimalist Barefoot Sock Shoes. I feel like this is the one thousandth time already this year I've had to ask, Are we living in an episode...

A hot, sandy beach. Ahhh, it's so good. And then when you get up to walk into the ocean, it hurts so good. And then when you head over to play some pickup volleyball it...just hurts. Seavenger's SeaSnug Sports Socks block...

Uh, they look pretty much like insoles to me, but OK, Flat Socks. They're flat socks if you say so. Some other things Flat Socks says about their "socks" worn by your shoe rather than your foot is that they're "No slip...

Rotund. Top heavy. Proportional even. But never before would I have considered describing R2-D2 as leggy...

These Beer Mug Socks are actually more like Beer Mug Leg Warmers, but yarn maestro Vicky Djokic probably figured referring to her most excellent hand-knit frothy pints o' brew as "leg warmer" would deter men from clicking...

No, Netflix Socks aren't socks for advertising your love of Netflix. They're actually useful. They're DIY socks that both cover your feet and have your back when you're watching your favorite streaming movies and shows...

Before I slip my foot right into Barf! These KISEE-DSV Sandals are uglier than my Aunt Jan's gnarled-toe, callous-covered Sasquatch feet, I should qualify them: KISEE-DSVs are a performance sandal collaboration between...

Now that I've got my socks locked and loaded into the SockDock, sock-eating washers and dryers can eat my shorts! The SockDock sock organizer stores pairs of socks together between its row of adjustable sliders. Each...

Why do my burger & fries taste like cardboard? Actually, it's more like...poly-cotton yarn. Better wash it away with my beer - ugh! My beer tastes like sweaty feet! What is this, Heineken?...