Feisty Pets Rude Alf the Blood Nosed Reindeer
Rude Alf the Blood Nosed Reindeer is another unexpected, twisted stuffed animal from Feisty Pets, this time a delightful perversion of Santa's top sleigh driver, Rudolph, made just for the holidays. Rude Alf and his Blood Nose will make a wonderful gift for kids this year.
Especially kids you hate.
In fact, wrap the Rude Alf the Feisty Pet up alongside this collection of bedtime stories, and your sister-in-law will never bring her spastic hellions over for Christmas dinner again!
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
Reindeer Threesome Sweater
It's a highly inappropriate Rudolph sandwich, wherein Rudolph proves that he can both dish it out and take it. The Reindeer Threesome Sweater is to make your holidays, and particularly your impending Ugly Christmas Sweater...
/reindeer-hangover-ugly-14882.jpg?mode=crop "Reindeer Hangover Ugly Christmas Sweater")
Reindeer Hangover Ugly Christmas Sweater
Listen. The only reason I'm showing you a barfing reindeer ugly Christmas sweater on November 6th is that when I waited for another month to show it to you last year it sold out before I had the opportunity. So just swap...
Life-Size Animated Talking Reindeer
The idea of Dasher, a life-size reindeer that talks and moves, is decent, but, uh...did they have to give him the voice of Ross Matthews? MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Let's hang pink and purple stockings! At least that's...
/rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer-46485.jpg?mode=crop "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Mankini")
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Mankini
Rudolph Mankini, reporting for sleigh-driving, eye-popping, nut-hugging duty! Christmas suit meets birthday suit in this jolly, Borat-approved (and sexy-time-ready!) men's thong. Ownership of the Rudolph Mankini means...
/ug-it-up-for-santa-top-10-20195.jpg?mode=crop "Ug It Up for Santa: Top 10 Ugly Christmas Sweaters")
Ug It Up for Santa: Top 10 Ugly Christmas Sweaters
Ahhhh, nothing screams, "Merry Christmas!" like synthetic fabrics, tacky embroidery, seizure-inducing patterns, and colors insulting to nature. Here are my picks for most awesomely uggiest of the ug, the Top 10 Ugly Christmas...
/reindeer-pyropet-candle-20153.jpg "PyroPet Reindeer Candle")
PyroPet Reindeer Candle
Rudolph the white-nosed reindeer / Had a very waxen face / And the next time you see it / I'll have melted it away. All of the other reindeer / Will tremble inside their own skin / As I set a match to Rudolph / And burn...
Second Skin Santa Bodysuit
If your kids are afraid of Santa the jolly bearded fat man, just dress up as Santa the faceless creeper in the second skin bodysuit and show them what real terror is. Ho, ho, ho, an ocelot ate my face! Now I spread Christmas...
/frosty-the-eunuch-ugly-29615.jpg "Frosty the Eunuch Ugly Christmas Sweater")
Frosty the Eunuch Ugly Christmas Sweater
Ugly Christmas Sweater season is here. The days, they have shortened. The temperatures, they have dropped. And the Tipsy Elves, they have knitted. The tacky, silly, funny, and dirty entries in their 2017 sweater line...
/reindeer-on-the-spit-ugly-46606.jpg?mode=crop "Reindeer on the Spit Ugly Christmas Sweater")
Reindeer on the Spit Ugly Christmas Sweater
Wonder what happened to create this ugly Christmas sweater. Is Santa spit roasting a reindeer because his sleigh crashed a week ago and no one has responded to his SOS calls, or because he's just hungry and Mrs. Claus...
/2-person-ugly-christmas-35616.jpg?mode=crop "2-Person Ugly Christmas Sweaters")
2-Person Ugly Christmas Sweaters
Is winning the Ugly Christmas Sweater contest with a 2-person ugly Christmas sweater worth it if you have to spend the whole party finagling 1-handed between the egg nog, the cheese log, and the figgy pudding?...
/furry-friend-bucket-hat-62206.jpg?mode=crop "Furry Friend Bucket Hat")
Furry Friend Bucket Hat
If the Cookie Monster had a baby with Barkley...or just, like, became a piece of hybrid merch at the hands of a Sesame Street fanatic...this Furry Friend Bucket Hat could easily be the result. Made with an abundance of...
You Is Fine Bears
Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh... Basically every time I see her all I can...