Wonka Bar Pinata
/Wonka-Bar-Pinata-1231.jpg?mode=crop "Wonka Bar Pinata")
And, I'm not talking about that stupid shit Johnny Depp did in 2005. I'm talkin' Wilder Wonka. When Charlie Bucket was poor and possibly gay. When Ned Beauregard could sell ketchup to a lady in white gloves. Don't even get me started on the new Karate Kid...
/presenting-the-alphabet-15-56997.jpg?mode=crop "Presenting the Alphabet: 21 Gifts that Start with F")
Presenting the Alphabet: 21 Gifts that Start with F
For my next alphabetic trick, I have compiled 21 gifts that start with F, and not one of them contains the word F**k! I know, dudes, a trick indeed!...
/fettiwrap-stuffed-confetti-62313.jpg?mode=crop "FettiWrap - Stuffed Confetti Wrapping Paper")
FettiWrap - Stuffed Confetti Wrapping Paper
FettiWrap is not your ordinary wrapping paper; it's a patent-pending gift-wrapping platform that promises to add an extra layer of surprise and amusement to your gifting game. Imagine wrapping your present in something...
/presenting-the-alphabet-et-57210.jpg?mode=crop "Presenting the Alphabet: 18 Gifts that Start with J")
Presenting the Alphabet: 18 Gifts that Start with J
Juicy, Jim, Jedi, Just, and JAG kick off my roundup of 18 gifts that start with "J," and Jeri, JoGo, jelbows, and Juego do Domino close it out. In the middle? A Judy and a Bruce...
/presenting-the-alphabet-22-58233.jpg?mode=crop "Presenting the Alphabet: 22 Gifts that Start with P")
Presenting the Alphabet: 22 Gifts that Start with P
PPPPPPresenting the Alphabet! We've hit the Ps, my dudes...no, my peeps. From Popdarts to Power Reels, Power Idolz to Pep Talks, and Porsches to Pyros, I've got all the best P has to offer right here. Even the 2 poop...
/presenting-the-alphabet-16-57248.jpg?mode=crop "Presenting the Alphabet: 16 Gifts that Start with K")
Presenting the Alphabet: 16 Gifts that Start with K
Yippee Ki-K, it's the other "Kuh" sound, and 16 gifts celebrating it. You kooky kids enjoy! And you kantankerous Karens not down with Kong Beer Bongs and Krapp Strapps, shove it up your...well. Please refer to Presenting...
26-Pound Gummy Python
Oh look, a snake that can kill you without biting, constricting, or even being alive. At 84" long, 26.9 pounds, and a staggering 36,720 calories, the Gummy Python will inflict anything from hyperglycemia to ruptured intestines...
/Han-Solo-Carbonite-Chocolate-Bar-1361.jpg?mode=crop "Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar")
Han Solo Carbonite Chocolate Bar
What took them so long? Although I'd prefer an Augustus Gloop drowning in chocolate bar, Han Solo's plight lends itself nicely to aiding in the fattening of America as well. Jabba The Hutt, although posing no long term...
The Best Prank Birthday Card Ever
Now my favorite birthday gifts come in the form of a Peeping Creeper at the bedroom window or talking an amateur heavyweight UFC fighter into accusing my friend Cornelius of sleeping with his girlfriend, but if you're...
/Batman-Party-Invitations-1090.jpg?mode=crop "Batman Party Invitations")
Batman Party Invitations
Set the tone for your super party with some super invitations. No envelope needed! When you open the bat covered flaps the invitation is inside. Constructed from high quality cardstock, the invitations are quite sturdy...
/presenting-the-alphabet-et-57272.jpg?mode=crop "Presenting the Alphabet: 20 Gifts that Start with L")
Presenting the Alphabet: 20 Gifts that Start with L
Gifts for your love (Lil Friend Micro Fixed Blade Knife, Leg Chains), gifts for your lust (Lorals Latex Panties), and gifts for your little penis (Lightsaber Willy Warmer, Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book.) LOL!...
/presenting-the-alphabet-et-58161.jpg?mode=crop "Presenting the Alphabet: 19 Gifts that Start with O")
Presenting the Alphabet: 19 Gifts that Start with O
O. Oh. O-oh. Uh-oh. Oh boy, Oh boy! The big O. Ohhhh, baby. In my march through the alphabet of gift-giving (and letter-specific scores for yourself) we've gotten to the Os. O. M. G...
/presenting-the-alphabet-et-57162.jpg?mode=crop "Presenting the Alphabet: 16 Gifts that Start with I")
Presenting the Alphabet: 16 Gifts that Start with I
I've compiled 16 gifts that start with "I," but don't worry. Only one of them starts with "i." And it's an iParody, not another expensive Apple device, or internet-based smart home product that's going to be a bitch to...