Swimming Poo - A Video Game Full of Crap
Swimming Poo's STEAM blurb describes it as "a humorous action game," but that's about as full of crap as Swimming Poo itself. Humorous? If your favorite jokes start with "Pull my finger," or "So I was taking a dump the other day...." Action? If your definition of the word is eluding lifeguards while dropping deuces, ripping farts, destroying filter pumps, and generally polluting the swimming pool.
A turd- and fart-laden romp through a 1960s-era water park, Swimming Poo gives gamers control of the pudgy, prepubescent Simon and, well, his butthole. Your role is to guide your MC / little shit through the park completing the crappy and gassy tasks outlined above, without getting apprehended by the (presumably teenaged) lifeguards (who definitely don't get paid enough to deal with your shit.)
Each defecation and passing of wind will help you "recover secret confectionery recipes that will be with you forever," and...wait, what? The goal of the game is to help fat Simon use feces and flatulence to win recipes for homemade candies that will make him even fatter? This is bizarre. This is unhealthy. This is gross.
Yet, is it gross enough to be sickly fascinating? A car wreck you can't look away from? Who is Swimming Poo for? 8-year-olds? Dad? Drunk frat guys who thrive on leaving upper deckers at sorority houses and in the bathrooms of friends' parents who invite them to Thanksgiving dinner?
I don't know, dudes, this Dude sure isn't doin' the diarrhea dance to get notified when Swimming Poo's free demo becomes available this year. If you're still on the fence, I forgot to mention one last thing: Simon also has a best friend who's always by his side, ready to help out. His name is Poopie. Guess what he looks like.
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