Portable Sauna
Although it appears to be a handy portable torture device for captured spies or fraternity pledges, what we actually have before us is an Infrared Sauna for at-home use. Replete with two, 600-watt heaters purported to stymie fat cells, soothe stiff joints, and pistol-whip sluggish metabolisms, this zip-up, fold-up, F'd-up looking contraption may just be the key to lasting weight loss, corporeal rejuvenation, and zombie virus immunity.
Once snug as a bug in a rug inside the sauna (a folding chair is included), users will feel the heat accruing and penetrating their flesh in only a minute. Temperatures are automatic and calibrated to maximize blood and lymph circulation. Whether any of these desirable effects actually occur, or if the product is just two pieces of aluminum foil lined with asbestos, I couldn't really say, as I have never tried the Portable Infrared Sauna myself. I have, however, tried many non-portable saunas--even the infrared flavor here and there--and found them to be very toxin-removing. Highly capable of extracting the leftover essences of the extra spicy Kung Pao Chicken and one too many Jack & Cokes I consume without fail every night for dinner.
Functional or flop, one thing's for sure: once the Infrared Sauna meets the TARDIS, it's gonna be an eternity of schmoopy PDAs and those two love birds living happily ever after.
Sauna measurements are 41" tall x 24" wide x 17" deep.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
Bas Rutten O2 Trainer
Who wants to wheeze like a fat asthmatic chasing down the ice cream man? I do! I do! Temporarily anyway. MMA master and onetime UFC Heavyweight Champion Bas Rutten developed his O2 Trainer to build strength in a part...
/steelhose-5-in-1-flexible-free-62224.jpg?mode=crop "Steelhose 5-in-1 Flexible Free Weights")
Steelhose 5-in-1 Flexible Free Weights
The name "Steelhose" is literal. These 5-in-1 flexible free weights from FitFighter are lengths of real fire hose filled with steel shot. Use them regularly in your exercise routine - or join FitFighter's fitness app...
$10 Million Human Regenerator for Anti-Aging
Well, $10 million is the price for the super deluxe, diamond-encrusted model of The Human Regenerator. Bargain hunters who are OK with regenerating unsound cells, strengthening their immune systems, and enhancing skin...
/et-restorative-gifts-for-61915.jpg?mode=crop "17 Restorative Gifts for Health & Wellness Enthusiasts")
17 Restorative Gifts for Health & Wellness Enthusiasts
These 17 restorative gifts are for the health and wellness enthusiasts on your list who juice, blend, cup, condition, detox, soak, plunge, and ommmmm their way through life. The ones who always suggest you try meditation...
SexFit Sexual Fitness Tracker (NSFW)
Bondara, a British sex toy online store and blog, plans to begin testing of its SexFit prototype in the 4th quarter of 2014. So by 2016...or maybe even February 2015 since I'm sure they'll have thousands and thousands...
HotTug - Hot Tub Tug Boat
Why thank you, Dutch peoples. I think I would like a wood-fired hot tub in which I can sail, and a tugboat in which I can enjoy warm baths. HotTug is a wood-hulled boat fitted with fiberglass reinforced polyester and...
/penis-weight-set-43612.jpg?mode=crop "Penis Weight Set")
Penis Weight Set
All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real...
blk. - Black Bottled Water
We wondered too, but the answer is no. blk. black bottled water is not part of an SNL skit � la black caulk or Colon Blow. It's a real artesian spring water from aquifers in Canada's Sandiland Forest Reserve. And it takes...
SISU War Hammer
SISU! is the Finnish word for stubborn determination, and an appropriate moniker for a 28-pound War Hammer that has a predominantly fitness-based application, but could also wallop the ever loving Fuck You out of the...
The Knee Defender
Ye of long legs, take note: though the Knee Defender can't increase the amount of space you have within your sphere of airplane seat misery, it can prevent further reduction of the already minimal square footage. Comprised...
Primal Bells
On the list of things that would really suck: 1) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 72-pound kettlebell with an incensed gorilla face carved into it; 2) Finding your head on the receiving end of a 500-pound incensed...
High Altitude Training Mask
The high altitudes of Nepal, Machu Picchu, and Denver may naturally administer pulmonary resistance that conditions human lungs, and improves athletic endurance, but who wants to spend the time and money to travel there?...