Schweddy Balls Ice Cream

It's an ice cream cone made of Vanilla Duck Butt with Candied Orange Feet. Or! It's a duck on his feet who's buried half his body inside an ice cream cone, because it's obviously easier for him to gobble out the no-chewing-required...

To quote Freddie Mercury, "Is this real life? Or is it just fantasy?" Let's see...well, according to the $950 subtotal in my Jellio shopping cart, it is real life. Oh boy! Real life now has furniture that looks like ice...

Take a guess. How many bowls of your oat bran cereal would it take to equal the fiber content of just one bowl of Colon Blow? Hint: It's not 2. It's not 3. And it's not 9. Bigger Hint: It's enough to make Phil Hartman...

Now that the Cookie Monster has had his fling with Siri, maybe he can engage the services of Alexa to order him a dozen...or 8 dozen...of Dirty Cookie's Milk & Cookie Shots. I can't wait to see what he gets up to while...

Three things. One: I subscribe to the unwavering dogma that ice cream is mankind's greatest culinary invention. Two: I don't share food. Three: Avengers and iProducts be damned. Ben & Jerry's pint lock is the most anticipated...

I scream, you scream, we all scream for i-Scream! But mostly you, ladies. I just like sex toy designer Shiri Zinn's new vibrator because it makes you happy. And also encourages me to go get a Vanilla Caramel Nestle Drumstick...

This is the Halo Top pitch: 240 to 280 calories per pint*, and it more than doesn't suck. In fact, get a jar of PB2, mix some of that powdery peanut butter goodness into a personal vat of Halo Top Chocolate, and you won't...

Who wants some genetically modified Fla-Vor-Ice? You know, push popsicles raised in a freezer that treats its snacks with growth hormones. Yeah, OK, fine. They're just supersized because their fruit juice/yogurt/smoothie...

It's the 100th anniversary of dive bars! No, wait, it's the 100th anniversary of Miller High Life, No...no that's not it. Hold please. ... Ah! It's the 100th anniversary of ice cream bars! However, dive bars, and apparently...

Seeing the Belgian Bowl Waffle Maker made me understand how dads feel when they see stuff like KEEN UNEEK sandals. I had to go change my shorts. Do you know what this life-altering machine makes? Not a waffle cone bowl...

Big Boss Swirlio. Damn. A frozen fruit dessert machine came up with that name before I did. He's not even intimidating or dressed in a floor-length ferret fur coat. I bet the ladies love Big Boss Swirlio though. They'll...