Samurai Bottle Helmets
Tadayasu's Samurai Bottle Helmets kinda make me rethink calling my friends who drink only craft beer "fancy pants who put the 'micro' in microbrew." (Hey, I didn't say it was a good insult.) Because if they're fancy pants for sticking to small batch IPAs, what does that make the dudes who dress their bottles up as medieval Japanese soldiers?
Hoity toities who get off giving their beers (helmet) head?
Badasses?
Samurai obsessives with too much money?
At around $275 a pop for the beer bottle Edo armor, definitely at least the last one.
The context of the Samurai Bottle Helmets only gets better when you visit Tadayasu's website and see their tagline for the toppers: "Protecting your thoughts and feelings." Sweet. Glad I have that kabuto backup just in case refusing to talk about my thoughts and feelings doesn't work out for me.
Samurai Bottle Helmets come in 5 different warrior styles, all pimped out like real historical shoguns.
Iron Samurai Blue LED Watch
As if the opportunity to wear a segmented steel LED-lit wristband that might make people wonder if you're under house arrest isn't reason enough to complete this purchase, the fact that the Iron Samurai also possesses...
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Hand Forged Samurai Swords
Swords of Northshire works directly with a forge in Longquan to satisfy all of your samurai sword needs. Or, more likely, create your sudden and intense samurai sword needs. Handmade from the ground up, the retailer's...
Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs
Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself...
Samurai Kitchen Knife Set
Onion! You bastard! Raw atop my chalupa you give me the breath of a dragon-sized chihuahua that just puked up a can of tuna fish. Dicing is too good for the likes of you. Prepare to be hacked to bits with my Samurai sword...
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Oda Nobunaga Samurai Scissors
Don't bring scissors to a sword fight. Unless! Unless those scissors are katana-bladed samurai scissors! This pair of Oda Nobunaga Scissors by Nikken Cutlery have been designed in the likeness of powerful Japanese warlord...
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The Samurai Steamroller Pipe
Shredder says they named their glass and metal pipe the Samurai Steamroller because, "Much like the armor once worn by the Japanese Samurai, our products are designed to outlast any competition." So, not because it's...
/romance-of-men-build-your-own-53781.jpg?mode=crop "Romance of Men Build Your Own Katana")
Romance of Men Build Your Own Katana
It's DIY samurai time! Romance of Men's Build Your Own Katana collection offers budding builders and feudal warriors the opportunity to create a custom katana, choosing every component of the sword from blade material...
Darth Vader Samurai Warrior Doll
Darth Vader as a samurai warrior. Hmmm, a strange mixing of metaphors, but it still fits. Trade the lightsaber for a sword, swap out the E-3778Q-1 mobile life support system and cape for ancient Japanese mobile life support...
Star Wars Meets Chinese Folklore Prints
Yesterday was May 4th and son of a bitch if I didn't bone the opportunity to run these Star Wars prints and say, "May the 4th be with you." And today is May 5th, another special day, particularly for the peoples of Mexico...
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Unofficial Warrior Manuals
Publisher Thames & Hudson's [Unofficial] Manual series covers all the greatest warriors in history, from samurais to to medieval knights, vikings to gladiators. Each of the part-entertainment, part-for-real books has...
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The Tallest Pen Stand
Joining the superlative ranks of The Biggest Loser, The Longest Yard, The Coolest Cooler, and The Whitest Boy Alive, please welcome The Tallest Pen Stand! I don't know if 3DW Crafts' samurai-style modular pen tower earns...
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Cardboard Samurai Costume
You've heard of Christmas in July, but how about Halloween in June? Yeah, me either, but this cardboard samurai costume makes me want to start the trend. It's even summer-ready, made entirely of paper products instead...