Potato Parcel - Your Face on a Real Potato

I'm feeling 4th of July withdrawal. No more fireworks to blow up. But I remember potato guns from grade school, and even a giant homemade potato gun my high school physics teacher made that could shoot entire russets...

Mr. Stay Puft's got nothing on my Mallow Bow. Sure, he can stomp on people, toss cars, and tear down buildings, but I can dole out cavities, high blood sugar, and toothaches. Straight to the kisser from 60' away!...

The potatoes spilling out of this ribbon fry cutter look delicious. For $100 I would eat them raw. I might also eat them raw if I were sure no one was watching. Easy to load, easy to retract and reload, I know once I...

The orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round, the orange on the Pelematic Peel Pro goes 'round and 'round, 'til aaaallll the ughbittergrossblechblechblech white stuff...

Yeah I want some heated queso. That stays heated from dip 1 to dip 100. And now that you mention it, I would be amenable to some peripherally warm tortilla chips too. Why is the Heated Chip & Dip tray not a staple at...

It's the most expensive, yet also the most cuddly, potato you'll ever own. Krystyna Dulinska's Velvet Potato Pillow might be the best potato gift I've seen since the Potato Parcel, whose cost and cuddliness are also up...

A sweet potato energy bar? Sounds yammy! I mean, yummy! I mean yammy and yummy!...

Banana comforter, lettuce quilt, potato blanket, cool. I'm down with the optical illusions imparted by most of this 3D fruit and vegetable bedding. But, uh, I think I'll pass on the papaya. Give that one to a horny teenager...

Dash says its Masha-ed potatoes are the doggone fluffiest. And smoothest. And creamiest. The rotor-cone technology behind this mashing machine purees foods ranging from potatoes and yams to guacamole and hummus in under...

At its fluffy white, carb-laden heart, this is a Microwave Potato Cooker Bag. The red polyester pouch is nukable, washable, reusable, and amenable to turning raw potatoes into moist and delicious bakers - or moist and...

Might be a while before we can take a rocket ship to mars, so in the meantime, let's take a rocket ship to...mashed potatoes!...

Happy Thanksgiving! As a prelude to the mouth-watering feast you are surely about to enjoy, let's take a look at some of the gut bombs other poor bastards* will have to eat on this day of appreciating what we have, regardless...