Unicorn in a Narwhal Sculpture
- The Avenging Narwhal Action Figure - $10.17
- Nari Narwhal USB Heated Slippers - $35.99
- Magicorn Unicorn Hoodie - $14.99
- Giant Unicorn Leggings - $6.69
- Enchanted Unicorn Bandages - $6.82
Holy crap, it's fantastical beast overload! It almost hurts to look at it, it's so stirring and extraordinary. And, according to the unicornarwhal sculpture's creators, it also explains a lot. How can a whale with a ginormous horn protruding from its cranium possibly exist? Well...it swallowed, and is now being internally controlled by, Jonah's pet unicorn. Together they travel the seas spreading joy and rainbows to all the good little fishies and sailors, and giving anal probes to the bad ones.
The "Rainbow Magic" unicorn-narwhal hybrid sculpture is made of resin and measures 24 glorious inches long from horn to tail. It exists as part of a limited and very pricy edition of 8. Each piece has been hand made and comes with a stand and Certificate of Authenticity from God.
The unicorn in a narwhal sculpture is a top Dude Gift for Your Girlfriend pick.
/unleash-the-kraken-male-42200.jpg?mode=crop "Unleash the Kraken Male Vibrator (NSFW)")
Unleash the Kraken Male Vibrator (NSFW)
While we normally think of the kraken as wielding tentacles of asphyxiation and death, what if in fact the giant squid is all about pleasure? What if his tentacles, as they appear willing and able to do in this male vibrator...
/whalecum-mat-30299.jpg?mode=crop "Whalecum Mat")
Whalecum Mat
Whalecum, my friends. We have nothing but whalecum for you in this house. Spermy the Whale gives a gushing "Hello!" to all guests who cross the threshold in this delightful Whalecum Mat...
WTF? Icon Prints
Santa, you better man up because your sleigh is about to be filled to the gates of heaven with prints of "Batman Puking His Friggin Guts Out" and "Bazooka Whale." I don't know what's more enamoring here: Jann Van Zant's...
Life-Size Blue Whale Kite
I see your flying squirrel, Flying Dutchman, and flying f@*k, and raise you a flying blue whale! No, make that a life-size flying blue whale. Wind master Peter Lynn's superbly massive kite measures in at over 60 feet...
Kraken Flasks
Rejoice ye liquor-sipping non-smokers who thought the Octopus Pipes we featured last month would be cool, if only you inhaled. Kraken Flasks are here to evoke equal reverence from those who enjoy a fine swig of Scotch...
/personalized-lovecraftian-21028.jpg "Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles")
Personalized Lovecraftian Bottles
Pick your poison. Actually, pick two: a spirit to fill one of Orion Oddities's sick hand-sculpted bottles with; and a Lovecraftian beast to guard its contents. The Italian design shop molds the likenesses of Cthulhu and...
/party-bird-island-rafts-32739.jpg?mode=crop "Party Bird Island Rafts")
Party Bird Island Rafts
What's better than a magic carpet ride? A big magical unicorn pool float. A giant pink flamingo party raft. A huge and handsome floating peacock island. All big enough to bob you and 5 of your best buds around the lake...
Kraken Watch
Stefan Kudoke calls his masterful Kraken timepiece the KudOktopus, which I guess is acceptably clever. I would have called it the KudoKraken though. Easier to pronounce. Sounds kind of like pseudo-Kraken, which an ornate...
Kraken D20 Die
When he's not terrorizing Nordic ships The Kraken enjoys a good game of Skulls and Shackles. So when 3D artist Nvenom8 approached him with a merchandising opportunity, the behemoth beast of the sea wasn't just willing...
/paper-animal-head-trophy-kits-22249.jpg "Paper Animal Head Trophy Kits")
Paper Animal Head Trophy Kits
Rather than designer animal kills from sub-Saharan Africa, Tristan Sopp is into killer animal designs from his own head. The 10 exotic head trophies Sopp has conceived and developed for his Resident Design Co. shop are...
Unicorn Head Mask
Product literature describes the Magical Unicorn Mask, a whole-head extravaganza of latex, as "vaguely disturbing." Uh, vaguely? For me, a mythical creature whose facial expression sort of makes it look like it's being...
/3d-unicorn-underwear-32436.jpg?mode=crop "3D Unicorn Underwear")
3D Unicorn Underwear
I bet if Juvenile saw these 3D Unicorn Underwear from Knicker Rocker he would think twice before telling the ladies to back that azz up. The panties are quite the statement piece, combining dreamy, fantastical unicorns...