You Suck At Parking Business Cards
/You-Suck-At-Parking-Business-Cards-980.jpg "You Suck At Parking Business Cards")
Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option, maybe letting them know about it will help ease your pain some.
/choclits-53959.jpg?mode=crop "ChoClits")
ChoClits
Why does this ChoClit taste fi-...naaah, I'm not gonna say it. Especially since ChoClits seller Firebox has already done one better than I ever could with their description of what I'm sure is a generally genitally delicious...
Anonymously Send Sh*t
If you know a lot of assholes, you know what it's like to deal with their shit. Now, it's time to return the favor. ShitSenders.com enables the shat upon to send steaming piles of Don't get mad, get even to inconsiderate...
/nostalgia-with-a-twist-of-52740.jpg?mode=crop "Nostalgia with a Twist of Darkness T-Shirts")
Nostalgia with a Twist of Darkness T-Shirts
This line of Nostalgia with a Twist of Darkness T-Shirts comes from the dark and nostalgic mind of artist Steven Rhodes. I've included some of my favorites in the images above, but there are dozens more to choose from...
/my-last-fck-candle-44928.jpg?mode=crop "My Last F*ck Candle")
My Last F*ck Candle
My Last F*ck Candle. Presumably this is the one you'll burn when all of the disasters, the shockers, and the newest pieces of trash to hit social media become too much to process, too much to reconcile. When the only...
Cardok Underground Parking
Boy do I hate having to park both the Porsche and the Lambo on the front circle drive. It really detracts from the visual splendor of my gilded front door and Batman topiary. What, a retractable underground parking space...
/driveway-turntables-50538.jpg?mode=crop "Driveway Turntables")
Driveway Turntables
To everything turn, turn, turn. And by "everything" I mean tight driveways, and by "turn, turn, turn" I mean up to 360 degrees into and out of them, courtesy of Driveway Turntables. A genius, no joke, no exaggeration...
/gazebox-accordion-garage-18577.jpg?mode=crop "GazeBox Retractable Garage")
GazeBox Retractable Garage
One guess as to which country the GazeBox hails from. A glorious transparent arc that accordions around your 6-figure sports car? Protects it in style, with pomp, and without hiding it from jealous eyes? Gotta be Italian...
/iphone-12-l-46492.jpg?mode=crop "iPhone 12 \"L\"")
iPhone 12 "L"
Apple tripled the iPhone 12's camera, but it took Matt Benedetto to show true genius and double the smartphone's entire design. Meet the iPhone 12 "L", a perfect fusion of two perfect iPhone 12s into an even more perfect...
/the-best-backhanded-gifts-36118.jpg?mode=crop "The Best Backhanded Gifts")
The Best Backhanded Gifts
Another way to think of the best backhanded gifts is the best gifts for people you don't like, only sort of like, have a love / hate relationship with, or have a beef with, but who for whatever reason you still have to...
Rear Window LED Messenger
The Drivemocion Rear Window LED Messenger is probably legal in only, like, 10 states (I'd guess the spectrally left and right ones, such as Massachusetts and Texas), but for those of you living amidst bureaucratic leniency...
/maxsa-park-right-laser-parking-51217.jpg?mode=crop "Maxsa Park Right Laser Parking Guide")
Maxsa Park Right Laser Parking Guide
Some cars pretty much park themselves these days. Some cars have so many cameras and beeping alerts when you get too close to the sides or back of your garage that they pretty much have the equivalent of a Maxsa Park...