Power Glow Bioluminescent Energy Drink

Throw away the EL wire and chemical-laced makeup. If you want to look like a club kid, Doctor Manhattan, or a walking biohazard, come the end of 2015 all you'll have to do is gulp & glow. On top of injecting your blood stream with the inordinate quantities of caffeine and B vitamins we've come to expect from energy drinks, Power Glow says it will also make those who drink it shine. Literally.

Down a 12-ounce can of the witch's brew and 10 to 15 minutes later you'll be Captain Bioluminescent, emitting an outer glow in a radioactive green or lightning blue hue for the next hour or so. Move over, Red Bull. Rock Star. Monster. It's 2015 and we pushers of the technological envelope, we attendees of the raves, we partakers in the hallucinogenic drugs demand more. We don't want no stinkin' Coca-Cola. We want Glow-Ca-Cola!

And why shouldn't we have it? If we can shit gold, we should be able to beam green, right?

Power Glow, to be available in colors Green Genes and BioBlu Flame, pairs luminescent pigments with reactive proteins and enzymes that alight in response to human metabolic activity, plus the energy drink's calcium content. Found in some jellyfish and squid, the anglerfish, and many types of dinoflagellates (marine plankton, as seen in the Dino Pet) active photoproteins, such as luciferase and the crystal jelly's highly studied green fluorescent protein, interact with free radicals produced during human cells' respiration process to generate oxyluciferin, or bioluminescent light.

Power Glow's glow presents itself in humans almost exactly as it does in the animals from which its ingredients were extracted. However, since humans are obviously much larger than existing bioluminescent creatures, the glow does tend to emit most prominently around the digestive area--belly and back primarily, with the effect apparent but waning north and south from there.

While Power Glow is still jumping through the hoops of FDA approval, the company points out that scientists have been injecting rat, pig, monkey, and rabbit embryos with jellyfish DNA for years now, with the resultant offspring adopting the invertebrate's genetic trait and glowing bright green with no ill side effects. Some may also remember a recent story about Lick Me I'm Delicious. That company incorporated the same synthesized proteins from jellyfish into their ice cream, producing a glow-in-the-dark rival to Ben & Jerry's deemed safe for human consumption. Power Glow simply takes the edible light idea a step further by crafting the chemical reaction to occur inside rather than outside the human body.

In addition to making you all lit up like a Christmas tree for Halloween, zombie cosplay, and your next date with She-Ra: Princess of Power, Green Genes and BioBlu Flame Power Glow will also inject you with the standard energy drink players: 85mg of caffeine (slightly more than Red Bull); vitamin B6; folic acid; vitamin B12; and a handful of amino acids that sound fancy because no one can pronounce them.