Don't Panic Keychain Towel
I was stoked when I found these Don't Panic thigh-high stockings for my fiancee to wear on our wedding day, but it's nothing compared to the joy I feel now having found SN Pro Tips' Don't Panic Keychain Towel for myself. And for you, if you like.
The iconic "Don't panic" phrase from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy isn't just solid advice for intergalactic travelers, it's a calming mantra we all should adopt into our daily lives. Especially when our daily lives include: waking up; running out of coffee; commuting; interviewing; working at a job; F'ing up at a job; putting a down payment on a house; saving for retirement; meeting the parents; living with children; living with any other people; interacting in any way with other people; and launching a Falcon Heavy rocket. And getting married. Definitely getting married.
Tim Woodruff of SN Pro Tips created the Don't Panic Keychain Towel - duh! - so you'll never be stranded without a towel. Because, Woodruff says, regardless of how hoopy a frood you are, "it's difficult to keep a full-sized towel on your person at all times."
If ye Douglas Adams fans order a Don't Panic Keychain Towel now, in your choice of materials and single- or double-sided embroidery, it will arrive in time for Towel Day, May 25. (And for me, Don't Panic Day, May 26.)
/human-burrito-blanket-29171.jpg "Human Burrito Blanket")
Human Burrito Blanket
A couple of giant Human Burrito Blankets will make sure your Tortilla Baby knows who Mommy and Daddy are. At 5' in diameter, I'd be able to roll up one fine bean, cheese, rice, and man meat burrito in this flour tortilla...
Sand-Free Beach Mat
I would like it very much if CGear's Sand-Free Multimat stayed sand-free by emitting an invisible dome barrier that repelled...no, forcefully rejected all granular compounds...and children...that got within a foot of...
Dude Wipes
Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...
Jedi Bathrobe
I bet this is the only bathrobe on Amazon--no, on the planet!--that has 121 customer reviews! 121 reviews! 159 if you count its second listing here. 159 reviews*! Of a bathrobe. I know it's a Jedi bathrobe and it has...
/fuzzy-ball-instant-dry-hand-60930.jpg?mode=crop "Fuzzy Ball Instant-Dry Hand Towels")
Fuzzy Ball Instant-Dry Hand Towels
These Fuzzy Ball Towels look more like what I'd use to suds up and wash my body than to dry it almost instantly. But I guess they have magical microfiber properties that suck up water with a quickness, and also their...
/towelmaid-outdoor-towel-pool-60571.jpg?mode=crop "TowelMaid Outdoor Towel & Pool Toy Storage Racks")
TowelMaid Outdoor Towel & Pool Toy Storage Racks
A TowelMaid outdoor towel and pool toy storage rack may not be very exciting in and of itself, but what a TowelMaid indicates - that you have outdoor towels and pool toys that need to be stored, because you actually have...
/sand-escape-compact-beach-21963.jpg "Sand Escape Compact Beach Blanket")
Sand Escape Compact Beach Blanket
Big enough for the whole family, compact enough for the 4-year-old to carry. Seriously. It's time little Joey learned to start pulling his weight...
/reversible-flour-sack-kitchen-60863.jpg?mode=crop "Reversible Flour Sack Kitchen Towels")
Reversible Flour Sack Kitchen Towels
Not that I'm a Level 10 expert on kitchen towels and dish towels and the like, but these Reversible Flour Sack Kitchen Towels are hands down the best kitchen towels and dish towels and the like that I've ever used. And...
/do-not-draw-a-penis-tea-towel-39487.jpg?mode=crop "Do Not Draw a Penis Tea Towel")
Do Not Draw a Penis Tea Towel
What happens when you launch an online, AI-interactive doodle program called Do Not Draw a Penis? Yessir. You get yourself over 10,000 doodles of penises. Five thousand of which you consolidate onto these lovely red and...
/its-always-sunny-in-40231.jpg?mode=crop "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia D*ck Towel")
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia D*ck Towel
The actual Dick Towel Mac created and sported on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 5, Episode 8) didn't look like this Dick Towel you yourself can sport on any day you like. But I guess it's a close enough approximation...
/the-undercover-changing-room-26779.jpg "The Undercover - Changing Room in a Backpack")
The Undercover - Changing Room in a Backpack
The streakers, flashers, and proud displayers of crack of the world will probably take offense at The Undercover, but for the rest of us, a portable changing room that carries our change of, or changed-out-of, clothes...
/oversized-microfiber-beach-12741.jpg "Oversized Microfiber Beach Blanket")
Oversized Microfiber Beach Blanket
I know. I'm thinking it too. Boy is that a huge beach towel. And boy to the power of a hundred does that lady look lonely lying on it all by herself. What happens when she gets up to cool off and splash around adorably...