KFC Chicken Corsage
A corsage with a big fat KFC fried chicken leg nestled in the center. That might be the one thing I'd consent to reliving high school for. Can you imagine how good promfuls of girls flailing chicken wrists on the dance floor are going to smell? And now that they start dressy slutty around the age of 14, all the hormonally raging 17- and 18-year-old boys ogling skintight mini cleavage dresses and snorting wafts of KFC may not even need to get laid to make Senior Prom 2014 the best night of their lives.
The Secret Recipe in corsage form is available in a very limited edition of 100. While a hunk of fried chicken is not shipped with the package, each kit does include a $5 KFC gift certificate so the best dates on the planet can select their ladies' preferred chicken choices to surround in baby's breath. Extra Crispy, Kentucky Grilled, or dare to gang-and-mount a half dozen Fiery Buffalo Hot Wings?
Note: I'm pretty sure if you can't score an official KFC Chicken Corsage, the industrious young bucks amongst you will be able to jerry-rig a a thigh or breast onto the model you do end up with.
/bioluminescent-firefly-62340.jpg?mode=crop "Bioluminescent Firefly Petunias")
Bioluminescent Firefly Petunias
Step into the luminescent future of horticulture with Light Bio's Glowing Plants, where the beauty of botany meets the brilliance of biotechnology. Imagine your garden illuminated by the gentle, ethereal glow of Firefly...
Bullet Bouquets
Bullet Bouquets. No better way to call them than that. And just as cool as these loaded pots of blooms: gung-ho shooter and artist Anthony Zambai saw the idea for them on Reddit less than a week ago. When the Bullet Bouquet...
/beef-jerky-flowers-25528.jpg "Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets")
Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets
Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...
/lego-flower-bouquet-47647.jpg?mode=crop "LEGO Flower Bouquet")
LEGO Flower Bouquet
Dudes, a LEGO Flower Bouquet. It's flowers - check. It's handmade - check. It's customizable to be OOAK from you to her - check. And it's byoooooteeeeful - check. All the makings for the perfect Valentine's day gift...
/steel-self-defense-bracelet-28571.jpg "Steel Self Defense Bracelet")
Steel Self Defense Bracelet
Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way...
/Sucker-Identifier-438.jpg?mode=crop "Sucker Identifier")
Sucker Identifier
It looks like the powers that be, in a clandestine effort to identify all of the easily manipulated minds in the country, have incorporated a shell company to produce a bracelet which claims that just by wearing it, your...
Enigmaze Internet Password Bracelet
I always wear my heart on my sleeve, my egg on my face, and my internet passwords on my wrist. And surprisingly, the Enigmaze Internet Password Bracelet may be the best of those 3 decisions...
/printed-body-flowers-swimsuit-60734.jpg?mode=crop "Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit")
Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit
The Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit doesn't provide quite the same caliber of beach-ready optical illusion as the Sexy Chest Swimsuit, but at least this Jean Paul Gaultier design is more likely to make you drool than gag...
Hobbit Hole Pet & Play Houses
Officially made and sold as Hobbit Hole chicken coops (or scale-mail-clad guinea pig coops! The uprising, it is all coming together!) these Lord of the Rings-inspired homes for the yard also serve as dog houses or kiddie...
/the-original-po-man-charcoal-21988.jpg "The Original Po' Man Charcoal Grill")
The Original Po' Man Charcoal Grill
"It looks like a trash can and tastes better than an Egg, so it will be the conversation piece of your next BBQ." So say the creators of the Po' Man, a grill that sets up with a set down on the ground, operates on plain...
/tokables-smokable-bracelets-16990.jpg "Tokables - Smokable Bracelets")
Tokables - Smokable Bracelets
I meant to post about Tokables herb pipe bracelets for 4/20 yesterday but I got distracted by...um...a fat bud. And some poutine this Canadian brought to the office at around 4:28. Have you ever had poutine? Duuuude...
/15-minute-meat-vegetable-23904.jpg "15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator")
15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator
Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...