LED Eyelashes
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These are aptly named. An ingenious piece of technology wrought from Asian women's desire to have larger eyes, these seem more fit for the drug-and-urine-splattered concrete floor of the next rave in Omaha, Nebraska.
LED Cube Chair
Why, LED Cube Chair, you're glowing! ... Are you...pregnant?! No? Full of light, not life? Ah, well, you look beautiful either way...
Oreylo Helix Hook Ear Cuffs
Earrings meet ear cuffs...meet hat pins meet cocktail toothpicks in Oreylo's line of Helix Hook Ear Cuffs. Yes, I know what you're thinking: Dude, that's a good way to puncture some lymph nodes in the name of fashion...
50 Pearl-Laden Oysters
Simultaneously the most thoughtful and disgusting gift a girl could ever get. Each of these 50 freshwater oysters is guaranteed to have a real, 6mm to 7mm round akoya pearl inside. But here's the catch: uh, the pearls...
11 of the Most Expensive Things for Sale on Amazon
I tried to curate my collection of 11 of the most expensive things for sale on Amazon not just according to their cost, but also their substance, how well they present, whether or not I looked at their price, read their...
Leg Chains
Nothing sets off a slit better than...well, the leg underneath it. Ahem, Angelina Jolie. But after that, definitely one of these Leg Chains. Any one of them. They're all hot. So hot. Like, Yowza!, Waa-waa-wee-wow!, How...
Iron Samurai Blue LED Watch
As if the opportunity to wear a segmented steel LED-lit wristband that might make people wonder if you're under house arrest isn't reason enough to complete this purchase, the fact that the Iron Samurai also possesses...
Nite Ize SlapLit LED Slap Wrap
Neon colors that glow even brighter with LEDs. Haphazard criss-crossy line design. Slap bracelet functionality. The Nite Ize SlapLit LED Slap Wrap is 1990s safety and visibility at your service! Don't forget the braided...
Screwdriver Ring
The screwy thing about this ring is...literal. And only literal, because the Screwdriver Ring isn't weird or messed up at all. It's awesome!...
FLASHr iPhone Notification Case
FLASHr debuts on Kickstarter as New Orleans boys Trey DeArk and Terence Green's slick reappropriation of the iPhone's built-in LED camera flash and iOS' "LED Flash Alerts". A 3-part, multi-colored case, FLASHr intertwines...
Lyon Wavelike LED Bed Frame
The Lyon Wavelike LED Bed Frame, now there's a bed that has "bachelor pad," "one night stand," "possible threesome," and "don't forget to turn those 16-color LEDs off when your mama stops by" written all over it. That...
Sword Cuff Bracelet
Normally, a great warrior wouldn't want to see his sword blade bent and wrapped into a big "O." But in the case of this Sword Cuff Bracelet from Osiris Jewelry, I think, whether viking, medieval knight, or Geralt of Rivia...
Musch Musch Designs - Your Privates on a Pendant (NSFW)
And if you're not into your privates on a pendant, Musch Musch will also hand make (hand job?) photos of your very own penis, vagina, boobies, or butthole into a bracelet, a mug, or, for the ultimate dick pic, a 3D piece...