Temporary Eye Tattoos
/temporary-eye-tattoos-7545.jpg "Temporary Eye Tattoos")
- Eye Tattoo Pack - $8.99
- Get Naughty Party Tattoos - $13.54
- Glowbys LED Fiber Optic Light-Up Hair - $5.12
- Sexy Lower Back Temporary Tattoos - $9.99
- Fingerstache Temporary Tattoos - $8.36
I can't tell if these temporary tattoos are attractive or look like someone taped a doily to your eye, but I think girls will like them, so as a nod to girls, I'm going to award Man Nga Liu's makeup alternatives relatively high marks. My favorite design is the one with the stars because it reminds me of Wonder Woman and, in turn, hotness, and my second favorite is the one with the rainbow checkerboard pattern because it reminds me of a shirt AC Slater would wear with pleated, acid-washed jeans on Saved By the Bell.
Tattoos arrive affixed to stencils, and may be trimmed to fit individual eyes, provided you have a steady hand and are good at cutting things. I'm not kidding. Scissor skills are underrated. Every time I have to wrap a present or trim my chest hair I am reminded of this.
/Programmable-Tattoo-System-858.jpg?mode=crop "Programmable Tattoo System")
Programmable Tattoo System
NOTE: To everyone who keeps emailing us to reveal "the truth" about this product, please conserve your time and effort; trust us, we are well aware of the month and day on which ThinkGeek released their groundbreaking...
Pinky Queen Nipple Lightener (NSFW)
I understand that Pinky Queen nipple...pinkener?...is a boobie beauty tincture developed with a female customer base in mind. And I definitely think females with nipples that are splotchy, unsavorily-hued, or look like...
In Vitro Baby Branding
Ink, sperm and eggs go in, a financially secure future comes out. In vitro fertilization is expensive, and let's face it, so are babies. What better way to offset the costs, and maybe make a little extra (elbow-elbow)...
Eidos Superhuman Senses Gear
To determine whether or not Eidos has grounds to call itself "superhuman" I forced the gear to undergo rigorous, yet fair, questioning and testing...
Cyborg Tattoos
I'm afraid online ordering options for the cyborg flesh treatment have yet to make it to Amazon. In fact, should you want an anatomical anomaly tattoo so whiplash-inducingly realistic and infatuating it gets mistaken...
Halloween Contact Lenses
Minions will cower and tremble in fear when they meet the all-powerful GnarledJaggedPlaqueLaden Teeth Eyes! Hey, I get the appeal of colored and themed contact lenses, particularly for Halloween, cosplay, and other costumed...
/momentary-ink-try-on-your-24637.jpg?mode=crop "Momentary Ink - Try on Your Custom Tattoo")
Momentary Ink - Try on Your Custom Tattoo
I wanted my girlfriend to dress up as the hot chick from Blindspot for Halloween so I could test out these Momentary Ink custom tattoos on her, but she was all, No! Absolutely not! I have a trial starting Thursday and...
/game-of-thrones-temporary-14675.jpg?mode=crop "Game of Thrones Temporary Tattoos")
Game of Thrones Temporary Tattoos
No girl who applies one of Seventh Skin's Game of Thrones temporary tattoos better get mad at me for staring at her chest. The intricacy, the detail, and the artistry of these short-term odes to Houses Targaryen, Stark...
Magic Tatts 3D Animated Tattoos
Want to make your tattoos come to life without eating hallucinogenic fungi? Then trade the magic mushrooms for some Magic Tatts, temporary tattoos that interact with an accompanying iOS/Android app to create animated...
Baby Tattoo Sleeve Onesie
This baby with a mohawk and sleeves tattooed on his arms looks ridiculous. Even though the mohawk is probably just a styling of the only hair he has on his head and the sleeves are part of a onesie. The poor bastard...
Lightpack - Ambient Backlight for Displays
Initially I thought Lightpack was meant to be some sort of aesthetic enhancement for the media screens of gamers and ravers and I was like, Whatever, if I want to see a rainbow light show from my couch, I'll just get...
Blackout Bands - Sleep Mask Sunglasses
Three things: 1) Welcome to 2016; 2) I've got a little something for your hangover. Especially if you have to open your eyes today; and 3) Kellan Lutz isn't a vampire, but he does play one in the worst movies in the history...