Griz Coat
/griz-coat-5652.jpg "Griz Coat")
- Sexy Polar Bear Hood & Mittens - $22.62
- Natural Looking Wall Hanging Big Black Bear Head - $39.99
- Polar Bear Slippers - $17.07
- Gummi Bear Table Lamp - $27.38
- Black Bear Ceiling Fan Light Pull - $7.93
I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking like the coolest, baddest bear impersonator on the block.
A runaway success as a Kickstarter campaign, the full-length, faux-fur ursine pimp suits rode the momentum they built with backers into a hugely successful first run--one that sold out, and left many would-be grizzly and polar bear role players high and dry. Until now. Griz Coats have finally returned to our virtual shelves and, as of November 14, 2012 at 5:00 p.m. ET, are once again available for purchase.
Griz Coats' literal and figurative pinnacle, their bear head hoods, are as work-week practical as they are weekend lady bait: far lighter and less cumbersome than an actual bear's head, and probably your own head, and maybe even a Sap Cap; comfy on their foam-lined insides; trimmed with eyes, teeth, claws, and a nose realistic enough to give small children unpleasant dreams; and, best of all, detachable. So you can sport the head solo when you're indoors, on the streets of Mexico, or in other places you might get strange looks for wearing a coat.
Griz Coats come in styles Grizzly and, for $50 more, Polar Bear. Presumably the cost increase for the latter is directly proportional to the increase in ass you're going to get walking around dressed as all of humanity's favorite beast. One size fits most. Meaning most people from 5'6" to 6'3". Huh. Well, Asia, in that case I guess it's not such a big deal that Griz Coat maker Buffoonery Factory isn't accepting international orders at this time. And tiny American males and professional basketball players--ironically, the two factions of our population who would probably be most down to wear a Griz Coat--better luck next time.
Cute Ass Animals Underwear
Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...
Reversible Chewbacca Hoodie
It may not be the skin covering a Yoda head rejected from use in the original Star Wars, but at least Marc Ecko's reversible Chewbacca hoodie is a bodily covering that's a little easier to come by...
Vagisoft Clothing
I know nothing is supposed to connote comfort like a mama's womb, but when Betabrand describes it as "Vagisoft"...ummm...I think of wearing a vagina. Which could be soft. Ish. I guess. If the lady's into grooming. But...
Anatomical Gummi Bears
This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for...
/freshly-baked-muscular-bear-61642.jpg?mode=crop "Freshly Baked Muscular Bear Bread")
Freshly Baked Muscular Bear Bread
I don't know which sounds worse: eating a bear; or eating a bear that's so jacked with muscles its flesh cooks all tough and rubbery. What's that? Try it raw? ... Uh, no. Cat sushi, maybe, but I draw the line at bear...
Assassin's Creed Kenway Jacket
Maker Volante Design calls this Assassin's Creed fashion statement the Kenway Jacket, and includes a lot of nonsense about how it is available with two closure options to make it either symmetrical or asymmetrical, but...
/relwen-moleskin-twill-61505.jpg?mode=crop "Relwen Moleskin Twill Insulated Shirtjacket")
Relwen Moleskin Twill Insulated Shirtjacket
I'm not sure I'd pay over $250 for a jacket, and I definitely wouldn't pay over $250 for a shirt, but a Relwen Moleskin Twill Insulated Shirtjacket? A twofer?! ... I'll mull it over...
/hero-within-coats-24250.jpg?mode=crop "Hero Within Coats")
Hero Within Coats
I told my gf I would agree to wear a man pea coat under one condition: it had to have a subtle and classy Bat symbol integrated into its cut and stitching across the back and shoulders. Then I smugly thought about how...
Nanotech Storm Suit
Style. Connectivity. Protection from hypothermia. When 21st century power players dress to impress, kill, or otherwise command the respect of their minions, they wear Indochino's Nanotech Storm Suit. Disclaimer: If you...
/plufl-the-dog-bed-for-humans-54622.jpg?mode=crop "Plufl: The Dog Bed for Humans")
Plufl: The Dog Bed for Humans
Welp, we've got dog food for humans, so why not dog beds for humans? Thank you Soylent, and now, Plufl. Plufl is basically a big ol' human-sized dog bed, designed by "avid nappers" Noah and Yuki to create the ultimate...
Animal Hoodies
Ladies, if Griz Coats are too big, too masculine, or too covering of the neck down for you (read: for me), how about one of these minxy little animal hoodies? Most of them even extend along the shoulders into a cozy pair...
Undead Teds - Your Bear, Zombified
Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent...