Rock Paper Scissors Group Costume

Posted: September 10, 2023

In: Style ➠ Costumes

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You better think long and hard about who wears which roshambo shape in the Rock Paper Scissors Group Costume. I, for one, would not want to be Scissors. And I'd be loath to let any of my single friends, or even the non-single ones who get a little loose with too much liquor, be Paper. My wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, is pretty much the only person I'd trust to go as Rock. Why?

Scissors: Anyone wearing a piece of the Rock Paper Scissors Group Costume is clearly going to challenge others / get challenged by others to play Rock Paper Scissors all night long. But while Rock and Paper have fun physical actions the costume donner can replicate with their bodies when they win - Rock bops or pounces on anyone who throws Scissors; Paper hugs or drapes themselves over anyone who throws Rock - Scissors can't really do anything but use their fingers, or the non-hinging scissors costume around their neck, to make a lame motion and say, "Snip!" Boring.

Paper: As I mentioned, when Paper wins a round of roshambo, the person wearing Paper might want to "cover" the person who threw Rock. The poor bastard who threw Rock, if they don't really like Paper, or drunk Paper takes this as an opportunity to carry out a full tilt invasion of personal space.

Rock: Don't want to get hugged, slobbered on, and felt up by Paper? I don't think you're going to enjoy a body slam from Rock much more. Not to mention, this is the one of the three members of the Rock Paper Scissors Group Costume who can take even more liberties with their name. See, most Rock wearers won't just pounce on Scissors. When the urge hits, most Rock wearers will scream, "Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?!" and pounce on anyone in sight. That's what I would do, anyway, but when I told my wife that, she rolled her eyes and called me a manchild, which is why I said I'd trust only She-Ra: Princess of Power to wear this costume.

One more thing She-Ra: Princess of Power told me during my musings on Rock Paper Scissors Group Costume assignments is that no idiot playing roshambo against someone dressed as a Rock is going to throw Scissors, and no idiot playing roshambo against someone dressed as Paper is going to throw Rock. And I was like, "What's your point?"

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