Hate Mail Anti-Greeting Cards
/hatemail-anti-greeting-cards-23600.jpg "Hatemail Anti-Greeting Cards")
Hatemail won't just print you the perfect card for your ex / arch nemesis, they'll mail it for you. With a personalized, custom message. 100% anonymously. If you like.
Oh, I like.
One "Wish You Were Here" printed over the fangs and gaping cartilaginous abyss of Jaws for the land-dwelling sea monster that is my ex-girlfriend, Karen, please!
The LA-based anti-greeting card company has a couple dozen doozies--including one doodie, an "I Heart You" spelled out in poo--revenge-seekers, pranksters, and those whose recipients have a terrific sense of humor can choose from. Upon placing your order, Hate Mail will ask if you want the card sent to you or to the lucky bastard who deserves it, and what message you want inside. Stock message options include "Happy Fucking Birthday!" "Fuck You," "Thanks For Nothing #BiggestRegret," "You're a Cunt," and "Eat A Dick!"
Custom messages between 200 and 500 characters are left up your heart's most lewd, cutting, or seething desires.
Hate Mail cards are printed on recycled cardstock.
/pc-prankster-6877.jpg?mode=crop "PC Prankster")
PC Prankster
I live for shenanigans of the PC Prankster variety. No, not because I'm devious and mean-spirited, because I have great empathy for others. I know as well as anyone how it feels to reach a level of frustration with a...
The TAC-SAC Rail Accessory
Last time me and my friend Cornelius played paintball he kept getting nailed and hiding and whining like a little goat until finally everyone was like, Dude, you need to grow a pair! And he was all, Dude! It's not me...
/the-best-gifts-for-seeking-31235.jpg?mode=crop "The Best Gifts For Seeking Revenge on Frenemies")
The Best Gifts For Seeking Revenge on Frenemies
I learned my most important lesson about frenemies from The Golden Girls. It's that sometimes passive aggressive words and social interactions aren't enough. It's that sometimes I need my frenemies to throw a party. Invite...
/kwikset-killer-key-21880.jpg "The Killer Key")
The Killer Key
The Killer Key is for law enforcement officials, landlords with squatters or evicted tenants, and pranksters who thrive on taking things one step too far. See, the key blade inserts into any Kwikset or Schlage brand lock...
/the-eviltron-31178.jpg?mode=crop "The Eviltron")
The Eviltron
Combining the ethos that nothing is scarier than one's own imagination with the ethos that creeping someone out to the cusp of a complete mental breakdown is great fun, we have...The Eviltron. That strange scratching...
/embarrassing-box-prank-mailer-26431.jpg?mode=crop "Embarrassing Box Prank Mailer (NSFW)")
Embarrassing Box Prank Mailer (NSFW)
D*ck in a Box is back! Just in time to dil-dole out some good times at the office and an April Fool's Day gift or two. Like many popular send-it-anonymously pranks, maker Witty Yeti will take a sworn oath to mail your...
Prank Magnetic Bumper Stickers
My friend Cornelius put one of these prank bumper stickers on my car the other day, and even though I realized it was magnetic and therefore easily removed shortly after retracing my drive to the soft-serve ice cream...
/wtf-prank-candles-55498.jpg?mode=crop "WTF Prank Candles")
WTF Prank Candles
WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the...gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...
Ship Your Enemies Glitter
I just read the best analogy of anything ever on ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com: "Glitter is the herpes of the craft world." Oh hell yeah it is. Glitter is hideous. Glitter spreads like wildfire. Glitter gets into crevices...
/tirecockz-prank-tire-valve-39733.jpg?mode=crop "Tirecockz Prank Tire Valve Stem Caps")
Tirecockz Prank Tire Valve Stem Caps
Ain't no practical joke more practical than Tirecockz. The ridickulous penis tire valve stem caps will humiliate your friend Cornelius (more than driving a Dodge Neon beater already does) but still protect his valve stems...
/gifts-to-give-someone-youre-40960.jpg?mode=crop "Gifts to Give Someone You're About to Break Up With")
Gifts to Give Someone You're About to Break Up With
Breakup gifts can present themselves in a few different forms. 1) You know you want to end things with your s.o., but his / her birthday is coming up and you can't do it right before. Therefore, you need a gift to give...
/willy-care-kit-26966.jpg?mode=crop "Willy Care Kit")
Willy Care Kit
If your name isn't William, and you don't need a gift for a dude named William, I can't imagine why you'd buy a Willy Care grooming kit. I mean, I know it's a common name and all, but are there really enough Willies out...