Dry Goods Athletic Spray Powder
- Fresh Breasts - $12.49
- So Fresh So Dry Fresh Balls 2 Pack - $19.09
- Balls Balm Body Hair Management System - $15.99
- Anti-Monkey Butt Powder with Calamine - $8.12
- Dry-Down Friction-Free Powder - $19.00
My first question when Tim Joyce wrote to me about his Dry Goods athletic powder was, "Uh, what's that?" To which he responded, "It's essentially sprayable Gold Bond without the mess." Cool. But of course my second question was, "Uh, what's Gold Bond?" I went ahead and Googled that one on my own. Apparently some guys, such as those who actually partake in physical activities, aren't always fresh and dry in certain areas like I am. And by "certain areas", I mean balls. These athletic powders have odor reduction and moisture wicking services, which I can see would come in really handy, again, for men whose peak exertion for the day involves more than opening and closing a laptop.
In addition to having the cleverest name in the land of athletic powders, Dry Goods also trumps the rest with its targeted, clean application process. It trades in Ritz cracker holes and dumping for a nozzle and spraying to ensure the product lands only where intended, and doesn't leave a white cloud of remnant powder all over the floor and whatever clothed area the wearer touches with his hands. Dry Goods, available in Original and Menthol varieties, promises to be a cool and comfortable addition to pre- and post-athletic endeavors. And for sedentary folk like me, Joyce says it's even useful in combatting ass sweat during more passive enterprises, such as the daily commute or sitting for 4 hours at some BS Andrew Lloyd Webber musical your ex-girlfriend suckered you into attending as a birthday present. Yeah, your birthday present, not hers. Sucker indeed.
BONUS: Use Dry Goods in conjunction with Dude Wipes and you may never have to shower again.
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